The Roaming Adventures of Evans and Stag Boy
by Jack'N'SallyGal
Summary: Non-linear, nonsensical, nothing like it. The ins and outs of Lily Evans, James Potter, and their love. Post-Hogwarts. Plenty of input from our favorite peanut gallery. Marauders. Brief mentions of other pairings.
1. Chapter 1

"Lily," the voice that floated up from the backseat was quietly concerned.

"You alright?"

He watched her knuckles tighten on the wheel. Lily stared determinedly at the road. James caught Marlene's eye in the mirror and grimaced. She returned the look before her gaze flicked next to her where Sirius was slumped over in sleep.

"I need a smoke," Lily said quietly.

Marlene and James exchanged another look via mirror. This time, Marlene bit down firmly on her lower lip before reaching over to delve into the depths of Sirius' leather jacket.

James smothered his amusement as Marlene rummaged through the pockets, careful not to wake him in the process of locating the pack and the Muggle lighter he kept on hand.

"McKinnon, if you want to get handsy, you only have to ask," Sirius said drowsily.

"Not even close. Lily needs a smoke."

"No need to tell tales…" he trailed off with a yawn.

Marlene nudged him so he was leaning against the window once more. "Back to sleep for you."

Marlene lit a lone cigarette before passing it to her in the front seat.

"Thanks, Mar."

The redhead inhaled deeply, and James watched as she paused before letting out a plume of smoke, aiming it out the window. She glanced away from the road, catching his stare.

He noticed the hand holding the cigarette was shaking, her eyes still red-rimmed.

"I don't think I can do this."

James felt his stomach clench. Headlights flashed across their silhouettes and he found he could only nod in agreement.

This was their third funeral of the month. They had already mourned two classmates, reeling as the deaths occurred within weeks of each other. The fact that her father had passed away in his sleep from a Muggle ailment was no comfort when they were constantly facing death.

"Petunia," she continued quietly, "wouldn't even _look_ in my direction. Let alone speak to me. I shouldn't be surprised. She was hardly there at the end. She's so busy playing house with the Walrus that she can't even visit her own fucking father in hospital."

Her voice had risen with each word, alerting Marlene and rousing Sirius once again. Meanwhile, James noticed the car steadily inch closer and closer to the ditch as it accelerated.

"Evans? I don't think-" Sirius said from the backseat.

Ignoring the cries of protest, Lily flicked the cigarette out the open window and jerked the wheel. She sent her father's car careening into the shallow ditch, shooting off the road and into a wild patch of grass until they came to a jerking halt.

In the next instant, a jarring scream filled the car.

Sirius and Marlene were first to move. They recovered quickly from the shock and scrambled across their seats to tumble from the car and onto the grass.

It was James who remained. Lily drew pack and pounded at the steering wheel with both hands. The sounds escaping from her were low and furious.

He heard her whisper their names, the ones who had died, before dropping her head to the steering wheel and sobbing.

Sirius and Marlene stood together several paces away from the car. Sirius had produced a flask and they were passing it back and forth, watching in silence as James gently pried Lily's arms from the steering wheel.

"It's the stable looking ones that crack in the end," Sirius remarked in a lofty manner that Marlene found annoying.

"For fuck's sake, it was her father. She had to arrange the whole thing, scrape together the money. Of course she's losing it."

Sirius refrained from commenting and lit a smoke.

"It isn't fair."

James repeated the words over and over again as he pulled her into the backseat, cradling her against his chest. She gripped his dress shirt in both hands in response, as if he would disappear like the rest of them.

They remained that way until there was a tap at the window. James kept an arm around Lily's waist as he leaned over and rolled down the window.

"Here," Sirius thrust the flask into the car.

James accepted it and took a long sip before passing it along. Marlene came around the other side of the car, opening the door to help Lily to her feet.

The foursome wandered away from the car, linking arms in the darkness. They fumbled their way out of sight before apparating back to the warmth of James' flat.


	2. Putting the dog to sleep

They hovered above the garden but they might as well have been world's away.

It was a warm spring day, with a gentle breeze that made for perfect flying weather. Lily had traded her sundress for a pair of trousers and a baggy top that billowed in the wind. Every so often it shifted so the freckles on her shoulders peeked out at him.  
She was smiling, looking carefree and wind-swept. But he was not to be distracted.

"If I win, we get a cat."

James nodded, perfectly confident that it wouldn't be an issue after they raced.

"Right. I win, you wash my lucky quidditch socks for the next month."

Lily wrinkled her nose, but appeared undeterred as she stuck out her hand for him to shake.

"Deal."

They shook on it before flying over to the agreed upon starting point. They used a charmed timer to count down and when it turned green, they were off. Lily shot ahead, maneuvering past James with a laugh that echoed around the trees. James hung back, waiting until a narrow point mid-way through their race to overtake the lead.

He realized he was alone when he no longer heard her laughter or accompanying shouts. Lily was a vocal flyer. She liked to call out to him when they raced, or spend evenings zooming through the garden after a particularly stressful day at work. He would ride along-side her and they would chat about whatever was on her mind.

When he was alone he preferred to fly silently, concentrating best when he was in his own head.

Now he found the lack of noise disturbing. He stopped short of the finish line, craning his neck to look around the small cluster of trees where they had marked the end point.

"Lily?"

He flew around a bit, checking if she was pulling one over on him. And then he heard it.

"James!"

He heard the shout from a distance and it nearly stopped his heart. He made it back to the garden in record time, dodging trees effortlessly and practically hitting the ground running. Lily called for him again and he ran around the side of the house, confused by the sight that greeted him.

"What the hell happened?"

Lily was on her knees in the drive, supporting an obviously pissed Sirius as he laughed and slumped back in her arms. The motorbike was on its side, the gleaming parts and paint looking no worse for wear, having been dumped gracelessly on the ground after Sirius took a tumble.

"He didn't show up to work this morning. Moody had me track him."

James hadn't noticed Gideon Prewett who stood off to the side, eying Sirius warily. The normally smiling man looked somber as he met James' gaze.

"I found him pulling into the drive. Didn't quite managed it and dumped the bike."

Lily saw the moment that James' worry turned into a blind fury. She handed Sirius over to him, and walked with Gideon to the edge of the drive where she thanked him before he apparated away. She had convinced him to tell Moody that Sirius was under the weather, again, and was on her way back into the house when she heard the shouting.

"Bloody useless is what you are! You want to get yourself killed?"

Lily ran up the front walk and into the house in time to watch James drag Sirius up the stairs. Sirius was taller, making it awkward to haul him up, but not impossible given the rigorous Quidditch strength training.

"Do it somewhere else, you bastard."

"James, stop it!"

When he paid her no mind, Lily charged up the stairs so she was bodily blocking his way into the bathroom. Sirius' head lolled against James' shoulder. He lifted it and grinned lazily. When he tossed her a sloppy wink, Lily was sure James would kill him.

"He might be hurt."

"He's fine. Aren't you, Padfoot?" James shook him and Sirius frowned irritably at the motion. He attempted to shrug off James' grasp, but his hold merely tightened.

"Just dumped the bike when you tried to stop. Been telling me how _fine_ you are for months, so what's one more fuck up?"

"Lily, what's he on about? Talking my bloody ear off when I just need-"

James shouldered past Lily and she followed him into the bathroom where he held Sirius against the wall with one hand and switched on the shower with the other. Sirius was still babbling nonsense when James unceremoniously lifted him clear off his feet to shove him into the shower, fully clothed.

Sirius sputtered, appearing indignant and howling as the cold water hit him.

James was nearly dragged into the stall as Sirius struggled to get out, and then, incensed, attempted to drag him in with him.

"Let me out or I swear to Circe-"

James shoved him a final time, hardly looking at Sirius as he made for the door.

"Sort yourself out," James snarled.

"I don't even want to look at you until you sober up."

* * *

As soon as James left, Sirius slid down the wall so he was sitting in the shower, feeling the brunt of the cool spray. Lily adjusted the water temperature so it was warmer before seating herself on the edge of the tub, should Sirius lapse too far into his well known bursts of melancholy and consider drowning himself just to spite James.

Eventually, she leaned in and turned the water off altogether. Sirius was soggy, still slightly drunk, and looking at her with glassy eyes.

Lily's first inclination was to be gentle. Help him out of the tub, supply him with towels and dry clothes. He made for a pathetic sight, soaked and looking like a lost puppy. But she knew it was for the best to fight the urge. If she didn't, he would give her the run-around and that was the last thing he needed.

"You've been drinking more lately."

With that opening, Sirius scrubbed a hand over his face and threw his head back against the tile. He closed his eyes, feeling a dull ache begin in his neck.

"Did something happen at work?"

He opened his eyes and cocked his head. Lily stared back with her infamous poker face, expression neutral as she awaited his answer.

"Something always happens at work," he replied.

"People die. I tally up the body count, write a report that no one will read and am on my merry way."

"How are you supposed to write those reports of yours if you're too busy drinking yourself to death?"

Sirius began checking his coat for a pack of cigarettes. Even a soggy one would do. He came up empty. Yet another thing to be bitter about.

"I am not drinking myself to death. Don't be dramatic, Evans. It doesn't suit you."

"Don't be purposefully thick," Lily shot back.

"You think you can drink and take out your motorbike for a joy ride with no consequences?" Before he could answer, she continued, "What am I supposed to do if you die? James will be impossible to live with. You know how he mopes."

The corner of Sirius' mouth hitched up at her words.

"Run away with me and you won't have to deal with the bespectacled stag boy and his moods."

"Trade his moods for yours? That's hardly ideal."

Sirius laughed and took the hand she offered to help him up.

"Point taken. I'm a miserable bastard."

She ordered him to stay put and he complied, unsure if his legs would carry him out of the shower to begin with. She returned several minutes later with her wand and cast a drying charm as he staggered out of the tub to sit on the toilet.

"I'm still fairly drunk, to be perfectly honest."

"I guessed as much."

They didn't speak as Lily lead him to the spare bedroom. She pulled back the covers and he fell into the bed, succumbing to a dreamless sleep within minutes.

* * *

"Where is he?"

James jerked his head in the direction of the stairs. Remus, expression tight, greeted Lily with an absent smile and started up to the guest room. Peter settled in at the kitchen table, rubbing the back of his neck with a pinched expression.

"Didn't realize it was this bad."

"People usually don't until something goes wrong," James remarked quietly.

Lily brewed herself a cuppa and took it out onto the back patio. She stayed there for some time, until her forgotten tea cooled and the sounds of the four friends arguing, sometimes yelling outright, had died down. She watched the sky change colors until it was dark and she was ready to go in. When she re-entered the kitchen, most of the tension was out of the air.

Everyone was seated around the table with varying expressions. Remus still had traces of fury around the set of his mouth, but much of the earlier animosity was gone. Sirius was the only one standing, slouching against the counter with a somber expression that she rarely saw him wear.

He pushed away from the counter when she entered, shooting an unreadable look at the others before speaking.

"Thank you for not letting James drown me."

It was said with such sincerity that Lily wouldn't allow herself to laugh.

"I know I'm a miserable git...a drunken, miserable git," he amended. "But you've stuck with me...this far. And I-"

"Say it," Remus practically growled.

Sirius shot him a mutinous look and continued pointedly, "And I _appreciate_ it. Also, I'm sorry I ruined your rubbish romantic day in with Prongs."

"It wasn't all that romantic," Lily said lightly, to which James sputtered his protest.

"We were discussing dirty quidditch socks when you made your dramatic entrance."

* * *

Later that night, after the others had left, save for Sirius who was sleeping in the spare room so he wouldn't go back to his flat and be gloomy - James crept downstairs. He kept the lights off as he made his way to liquor cabinet, feeling about the furniture to avoid making any noise. One by one, he emptied the house of Firewhiskey and the assorted drinks they kept on hand. He pitched the empty bottles into the very bottom of the bin, as if they'd never been there at all.

* * *

**A/N Thank you so much for reading! This isn't a linear story, but there might be reoccurring themes going forward. Mostly I'm writing what strikes me, or parts of my headcanons. Thanks for tuning in! The next update should be lighter than the previous two chapters with some romantic bits that I'm excited for.  
**


	3. What mates do

Peter was inconsolable. Sirius found the youngest Marauder sitting at the table, frowning into a cup of tea. He didn't even bother glancing up when Sirius entered the room. He merely sighed deeply and stared into the liquid as if it would sort whatever was impeding his day.

Sirius removed the biscuit tin, freshly stocked that morning, from the cupboard and took a seat across from his friend.

"You're looking rather glum, Peter. I don't like it. We're supposed to go out tonight, let loose on the town."

Peter rolled his eyes and snagged a biscuit before Sirius could jerk the tin away.

"I'm not glum."

"Morose? Underwhelmed by life."

Peter allowed a small smile to slip and Sirius joined him.

"Out with it, then."

"Lucy asked me to the Ministry Ball."

Sirius munched on his bite of biscuit with a thoughtful expression.

"I fail to see the problem. Lucy's fit, and I thought you liked her?"

"Of course I do. I'm mad about her."

Peter's eyes slid back down to his now empty cup of tea and Sirius frowned, puzzled.

"What's this all about then?"

"I don't know any of the dances, the Pureblood ones," Peter admitted.

"I never had lessons. Mum said we didn't have the money for that sort of thing and dad said it was a waste. Now I only know half the steps."

The front door opened with a bang. James entered, bringing with him the smell of the locker room as he dumped his Quidditch gear by the door and toed off his trainers.

"What steps?" He asked dropping next to Peter at the table. He looked between the pair of them until Peter finally admitted with a blush,

"Lucy Gallagher asked me to the Ministry Ball. And I'd love to take her out, but I don't know the steps and I'll make a bigger git of myself than usual."

"Ah," James said with a fond smile. He met Sirius' eye and they both grinned.

They were remembering the dance lessons from their youth. They were downright awful, waking up early to dance with ancient women whose robes smelled of too much perfume. But it was a Pureblood tradition. All of the boys and girls whose parents were anyone signed them up for lessons, making sure they would be equipped later in life.

Coming back to the present, where Peter was miserable, James and Sirius quit smiling and communicated silently for a moment before nodding.

"Full house today, I see."

Lily came through the back door with Remus. The pair of them each had a stack of books under their arms, having frequented a local library sale together, and looked pleased with their lot.

James went to Lily, helping her stack the books on the counter so her arms were free and he could give her a proper kiss. When they broke away, James doing the breaking; mindful that he was still smelly from practice, Lily was wonderfully flushed and pulled him back in for another.

"Hello," she said quietly.

He met her tender gaze and grinned like the besotted sot that he was as he reached up to cup her warm cheek with one hand.

"'Lo."

"It has been mutually agreed upon, between myself and Prongs that we are not going out tonight."

Remus hardly seemed bothered. He brought his stack of books to the table, Lily and James joining him on either side.

"Sounds perfect to me. I have plenty of reading-"

"None of that now, Moony. We're staying in to complete a mission."

Lily grabbed the biscuit tin from across the table, eyebrows raise with interest.

"What sort of mission?"

"We," Sirius declared with a gleeful grin, "are teaching Wormtail to dance."

* * *

Lily transfigured a tea cup into a record player. Hers was still stored somewhere upstairs, and the matter was too urgent to dig around to find it. Meanwhile, James and Remus cleared the living room furniture out of the way for a makeshift dance floor, before settling in to watch.

The music began and Sirius underwent a curious transformation. He had changed out of his Ministry clothes, and was now wearing faded jeans and a t-shirt with an unidentifiable stain and ragged edges. He went to great lengths to separate himself from his Pureblood roots. In everything from head - his shaggy, now tied back hair - to the scuffed boots he wore on his feet.

That said, Lily and the others were amazed when the opening chords began and he turned effortlessly into every appearance of the Black he was born to be.

He swept into an effortless bow, straightening to offer his hand to Peter. The later rolled his eyes at the gesture, but Sirius stood waiting, and the Marauder took it when he realized Sirius wouldn't budge until he did so.

"The first part is similar to a waltz," Sirius began as he took the lead.

"You can count off the beats in your head-"

James snickered at the phrasing and Peter threw his middle finger up, chuckling despite himself. Sirius slapped away the offending gesture and ordered Peter to focus.

The music changed and Peter looked down at his own feet helplessly.

"Eyes up," James called encouragingly from the sidelines. He knew Peter was helplessly self-conscious and held his tongue from commenting when he stumbled over the steps.

"Now," Sirius continued, "You take a step back from your partner. Count out four beats and then," Sirius held out both of his hands and swept Peter into a new, complex series of movements before the song dissolved back into a waltz and ended.

A new track began playing and Lily rose to her feet, offering a hand to Remus. She bowed, mirroring Sirius' earlier movements perfectly. However, her lips twitched when she asked,

"Mr. Lupin, would you do me the honor?"

A smile overtook Remus' features, but he did his best to adopt the stiff, aristocratic tone of that identified many Pureblood families.

"Ms. Evans, I'd be delighted."

The pair joined Sirius and Peter while James pretended to sulk and went upstairs to get a shower in. He hung back without any of them knowing and watched from the stairs for several minutes as his friends laughed and fumbled around the living room.

Remus and Lily were a disaster, but what they lacked in knowledge of the steps, they made up for with laughter and gusto. Remus swung Lily out and back into his arms, and James saw the flash of her smile from where he was seated.

Meanwhile, in a rare show of patience, Sirius continued to instruct Peter until he was able to take over and lead his mate around the living room with ease. They abandoned their plans to go out. Instead they ate carry out and continued dancing late into the night.


	4. Growing pains

**A/N Thanks so much to GwenCThompson for reading and reviewing! It's nice to know when people are reading and enjoying. Also, to siriusuntiltheveryend for dropping in. Both write HP fics, so go on and check them out when you finish here! **

* * *

"You don't want to go in there."

Sirius nearly tumbled into Remus, who was lounging against the front of the house with a cigarette dangling between his lips. He was peaky, his hands shaking as he attempted to light the blasted thing. The full moon was in two days and this one seemed hellbent on taking the most out of him.

Without comment, Sirius took the lighter and it hissed to life as he lit the cigarette. He dropped the lighter in the pocket of Remus' shirtfront and joined him. The day was overcast, too chilly for spring and from the corner of his eye he could see Remus tremble with cold.

"Can't even dress yourself properly," Sirius grumbled.

He shrugged out of the flannel he'd thrown on over the shirt he'd slept in. It was too warm for it anyway, so he secured it around Remus' feeble shoulders before the other man could argue. He shot Remus a reproachful look and pushed off the house, making for the door.

"I wouldn't go in if I were you."

"Why not? Is it a shag fest?"

"They're rowing. I know you hate to be around when they do that."

Sirius shrugged like it didn't bother him. And it didn't, too much. But, of the group, James and Lily provided the most stability. They were a constant in a small circle of friends known for unpredictability, and at times, complete chaos.

They didn't fight often, but when they did, it was always heated. They liked to shout and air everything that could possibly be wrong, rather than hold it in for the next one.

"How long?"

"Only been about an hour now," Remus replied, shrugging. He temporarily gave up on dignity and began jamming his arms into the sleeves of the oversized flannel, grateful for the warmth.

"What are you doing out here?"

Another shrug from Remus.

"I was too restless at the flat, so I came here."

"And now you're freezing your bollocks off. Come on, we'll see if they haven't gotten past the shouting stage yet."

Remus warned him against it, but Sirius pulled him inside the front entrance. They paused for a moment. Hearing no discernible yelling or other angry sounds, they continued in. Everything appeared normal until they reached the kitchen.

Lily was perched on the counter top, cradling her head in her hands. She looked childlike when she raised her head, her expression oddly vacant.

James hadn't noticed the others yet and hauled back, pitching a steaming cup of tea at the opposite wall. The crash seemed to startle Lily back into reality and she yelped, covering her ears from the sound as she glanced at the puddle of glass at the other end of the room.

Remus and Sirius sprang into action, going to separate sides of the room on instinct. Remus went to Lily, helping her off the counter. He placed an arm around her shoulder and she leaned into him with a sad sigh. She hadn't slept well the night before and the fight and repetitive arguing was exhausting.

Sirius went for James. Gripping the arm that had thrown the cup, Sirius pulled him back so he could meet his furious gaze.

"What's this about?"

"Leave it, Sirius," Lily said wearily.

Sirius looked between them, noting Lily's resignation and James' turmoil. It made a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"But-"

"Lily," James said loudly, "has decided she's moving out."

"We could have made the decision together," Lily said heatedly, "if you hadn't started shouting over me!"

"What's to decide? I'm not the one who brought it up over fucking breakfast."

"I just wanted to talk about it. We left Hogwarts and jumped right into this house that _you_ bought."

"Because I could afford it! You'd rather be living in some measly little shack? That's where we'd be right now if I didn't use my family's money."

Lily moved away from Remus. She jutted her chin, displaying the streak of pride that had gotten her through more than a few rough patches.

"I think I'd rather a measly little shack than living with you, yes. I didn't bring it up to hurt you, and if you'd look past your bloody temper, you'd see that_."_

"You're one to talk about temper."

When Lily opened her mouth to make a retort, James waved it away. He looked furious and then, suddenly, tired. Like the whole thing was more trouble than it was worth.

"You know what? Do what you need to. Pack up and leave whenever you find your dream flat. I couldn't care less."

He quit the room, leaving Lily looking more like she had when they walked in. Less than a minute later, the Floo roared to life in the other room and it was James who was gone.

* * *

"I hope they don't break up."

Sirius glared at Peter for voicing the thought that was causing him a great deal of inner turmoil. Peter caught the dark look and shrugged.

"Well, it could happen couldn't it? If Lily moves out and all."

"They usually patch things together, though," Remus commented.

"Maybe she just wants a place of her own."

"But if they do break up," Peter insisted, looking to Sirius despite the Marauder's foul mood, "you would miss Lily wouldn't you?"

"Birds come and go," was all Sirius would say.

Remus bit into a chocolate frog and aimed an amused glance in Sirius' direction. He was still wearing the flannel from earlier and Sirius considered asking it back, on principle.

"You're lying through your teeth, Padfoot. You'd miss Lily like mad."

"Come off it."

"She does give nice hugs," Peter pointed out.

"Prongs is a hugger, but he smells like the locker room so often that it almost cancels it out. Lily smells like fresh laundry."

"And she bakes," Remus joined in.

"And I think she likes the motorbike more than James, if that's possible."

"She does, doesn't she?"

Peter and Remus shared a laugh, but it only served to worsen Sirius' mood. He pushed back from the rickety bit of wood that Remus used as his kitchen table and gave them a lingering, dark look.

"Both of you are traitorous gits, talking this way."

And with that, he made his dramatic exit. It was flawless, with a slammed door and everything. Once outside he stopped only to realize moments later that he left his packet of cigarettes on the table and dearly needed a smoke. He debated going back in.

Sirius reasoned that he could demand the flannel back. It was his favorite, and since Moony was being traiterous it was only fair that he ask for it back. In the process he could grab the pack and be on his way to think about things in private.

"They're not going to, you know. Break up, I mean."

Remus closed the door to the flat behind him and tossed Sirius the pack of cigarettes. Sirius caught it deftly and set to lighting up.

"What do you know about it?"

Remus shrugged.

"They don't row often because they get on well together. But when they do, it's enormous."

"And how do you know this isn't the fight to end all fights, all knowing Moony?"

"I don't. But I know people who love one another can fight and still love each other when it's over."

Remus shrugged off the flannel, moving back toward the flat as he shivered in the cooler night air.

"We bicker because you're a moody bastard and my logic infuriates you, but at the end of the day, we still love one another, don't we?"

It wasn't a question that was meant to be answered. That much was certain. Sirius accepted the shirt, too lost in his own head to respond anyway. Remus merely smiled, calling out,

"You better be wearing a helmet when you take off, or I'll brain you."

When the motorbike roared to life, the curtain inside the flat twitched and Remus smiled slightly through the aching pain in his bones. Padfoot flew off into the night wearing the crimson helmet he swore to loathe for all eternity.


	5. Failed logic

They broke up.

Lily moved back in to her childhood home. She unpacked her things, sleeping in the bedroom she had occupied when she was little.

It was an odd fit. She had to transfigure a bigger bed, and she immediately did away with the pale pink walls, replacing the color with a clinical white shade.

In the evenings she stayed up far too late drinking endless cups of tea and sorting through the belongings her parents had left behind in death. The house would go up for sale soon and it needed to be cleared out.

A few times she was tempted to set it on fire and just walk away from the whole thing. Somehow she resisted the temptation.

* * *

James was downright unbearable to be around. He hid bottles of Firewhiskey throughout the house, careful never to indulge in front of Sirius.

Mostly, he drank in the loo. At night he would climb into the empty tub, throwing one leg over the side while he sipped straight from the bottle. Their bed was too big, the right side noticeably cool without the presence of the red head who hogged the blankets and took over part of his pillow in the night.

So he ventured into the tub, usually staring at the wall for several hours until he fell asleep and would stagger back to the master bedroom sometime near sunrise.

* * *

Sirius didn't speak to Peter or Remus for nearly a week, mostly blaming Remus' flawed, optimistic logic for getting his hopes up. He went to work each day, putting in his eight to ten hours, and then swung around Godric's Hollow at night to check in on James and make sure he hadn't done anything drastic like change out of his pajamas or remember how to operate the shower.

After an awful dinner, in which James ate nothing and spent the meal acting withdrawn and chain smoking, Sirius found one of the Firewhiskey bottles he thought he was so clever at hiding. He made quick work of shrinking it and hid it until it was time to return to his flat where he spent the rest of the evening getting fantastically pissed.

* * *

**A/N Everyone be cool, okay? **


	6. The beginning: A flashback

6 Months Earlier  
Winter 1978

* * *

_Nothing spectacular seemed to happen on Thursdays. There was the excitement of Friday to look forward to. But sometimes that only made the day feel longer, the entire thing drawn out until Friday actually came around and they were free for the weekend. _

_Thursday found Lily studying with Marlene and Remus in the library. Studying was a very loose interpretation of what they were doing because, for the most part, the threesome was too entranced by the dizzying snowfall beyond the window to pay close attention to their books. _

_"I'm not going to finish this essay," Marlene declared after a good fifteen minutes had gone by since she had retained anything that she was reading._

_It was for History of Magic, and none of them could bring themselves to care. They were working through a particularly boring section of theory, and having just returned from Christmas hols, were finding it more difficult than usual to muster any enthusiasm._

_"It's due tomorrow," Remus said thoughtfully. Despite his own reminder about the looming deadline, he closed his book._

_Lily slid her things into her bag. She tucked the parchment away with care, meeting Marlene's grin with a smile of her own._

_"There's always later tonight…" She reasoned._

_Remus and Marlene went ahead while Lily wandered into the stacks to return the book she'd been pretending to flip through. It hadn't been any use, anyway, and maybe some poor sod would find it useful while she was out building an enchanted snowman with the others. _

_"That's how libraries operate, Padfoot," a familiar voice said from one row away._

_"You check out a book, do some reading, and return it on the agreed upon date. Otherwise you incur the wrath of the librarian."_

_"Yes, thank you, James. How enlightening. In case you forget, the process was just shouted at me in great deal. It's not like I meant to lose the bloody thing…"_

_"Just get what you need so I can check it out for you. We're wasting time that could be spent-"_

_"If you finish that thought," Lily remarked lightly, "I might be obligated to pretend to stop you."_

_"Nonsense, Evans," James said immediately. _

_"It was nothing sinister. Just going to have a bit of fun outside like the others."_

_"Hardly a crime," Sirius added with a smile that bordered on devious. A moment later he was back to scanning the titles until he found what he was looking for._

_"Check this out for me. I'm going to tell Peter to get his arse moving. We're wasting precious not-studying time. Meet you outside?"_

_"Sure, see you in a bit."_

_Sirius wandered away, waggling his eyebrows in James' direction when he was out of Lily's sight. James batted him away discreetly, smoothing his expression into a vague smile when Lily looked up from the titles she had been scanning. _

_"The pair of you are as subtle as Bludgers, you know."_

_"What we lack in subtly we make up for in other ways," James said with ease._

_"Like charm," Lily said thoughtfully._

_"Rugged good looks," James added._

_"Humble to a fault."_

_"Don't stop there. This might be my new favorite pastime."_

_Lily laughed, but instead of shelving the book and going on her way, she leaned against the shelf, still looking thoughtful._

_"Loyal, whether it's to a fault is debatable, I think. Reckless. That speaks for itself, doesn't it? Captivating. And sometimes, when the stars are in alignment and you don't realize it's happening, handsome." _

_James wasn't sure if he should breathe. He thought any movement on his part might ruin the whole thing. The way she was looking at him and how close they were standing, casually, like it happened every day. _

_He liked handsome. It was flattering to hear, and who didn't enjoy that? But, _captivating_? That was something else entirely._

_"Stars, huh?"_

_"Stars."_

_James came back to himself, at least enough that he could reply, "How are the stars looking this afternoon?"_

_Lily tapped her finger against her chin in consideration._

_"Well, it's throwing me off. The stars have been in alignment fairly often all year."_

_"That so?"_

_And then her hand was pressed against the front of his jumper, touching a spot very near his heart. Her eyes were fathomless, looking up to meet his in the distance between his question and her movements._

_Their bodies survived a collision, beginning with her lips and then chests as his arm wound around her waist to align their bodies in a completely foreign, thrilling way._

_On a Thursday of all days, among the stacks and the smells of old paper and parchment, the stars came together for the first of many times. _


	7. Ministry bash

"Moony is taking Evans to the Ministry bash."

Peter promptly sputtered on his drink. The liquid shot out of his mouth and back into the mug as he coughed, gasping out words between coughs.

"What…even? _Why_?"

Sirius, on the other hand, cast a concerned look between Remus and James.

"Is there going to be a fight?"

"No fighting."

Sirius mostly ignored James' reassurance. He looked resigned as he pushed back from the table and began bothering nearby patrons to move.

"Clear out. Going to be a brawl. Any moment now-"

"Padfoot!" Remus said sharply, "There's not going to be any brawling."

"Take your plates, it's going to be a messy one…"

James rolled his eyes. He threw his napkin onto the battered table before going around the other side and bodily shoving Sirius back into his seat. Many of the patrons looked relieved as they went back to their meals.

Sirius looked dejected and pinned his moody gaze toward Remus.

"What's the meaning of this, Remus?"

"I asked her yesterday. Neither of us wants to go but our entire departments will be there."

Peter, having regained use of his airway, was chewing with a thoughtful expression.

"Right, but what does that have to do with you?"

"Hold on!" Sirius interrupted.

"I thought none of us were going! You mean to tell me you're going with Lily bloody Evans while the rest of us are dateless?"

"Not true," Peter pointed out, "I have a date."

"So do I," James offered.

"W-what? You're fucking taking the piss. Prongs," he barked, "Who's taking your sorry arse?"

"Alice took pity on me. Frank is on some work trip and can't make it."

Sirius looked between the three of them with a mutinous expression. After a moment of frenzied indecision, he reached across the table and stole James' pint, taking a huge gulp before he could be stopped.

"Sirius! You're pissing away a week of sobriety."

"That's not the issue here," he retorted hotly, ignoring the look Remus was giving him.

"Who the hell am I supposed to go with?"

"My mum-" James began, lips twitching with the effort not to smile.

"If you finish that sentence, I'll murder you, myself."

"She knows a lot of society birds, Sirius. She could help-"

"No!" Sirius cried, looking more and more horrified by the suggestion.

"You could always ask Marlene," Peter remarked.

Sensing Sirius' ire, he ducked smartly before the other Marauder could land a blow. Remus and James laughed, and Peter did his best to look solemn to prevent Sirius from going after him later.

"I don't even remember if McKinon and I are on speaking terms, to be frank."

"That's healthy," Remus said with dry amusement.

"Right. When was the last time we saw her?"

"I reckon it was when Diggory got married. About a month? She danced with you at the reception," Peter reminded him.

"True. Looks like it could potentially work."

"Send her an owl, then. And give me back my pint!"

* * *

"I'm saying no."

"Marlene-"

"Sirius is ridiculous. It's not like I'd even enjoy going with him, anyway."

"Oh, really?"

"Really," Marlene said firmly.

"He's probably not nearly as fun without a drink under his belt. I wouldn't be able to have anything all night."

"I'm sure he's fallen off the wagon by now."

It was meant as a joke, and not a very good one, but the thought made Lily sad. She had passed Sirius and Peter a handful of times in the Ministry, but they hadn't spoken. It had only been in passing. And anyway, she wasn't sure that they'd speak to her, especially Sirius, if she tried to engage them.

She mostly chatted with Remus via owl. They traded letters several times a week. Their topics remained on work, local gossip, and stayed far away from James and whatever he was up to.

Lily hadn't seen him at all since she moved out. He had shrunk her last box, placing it in her hand and turning away without another word. She had closed the door behind her and that had been that.

Sort of.

"Lily, it would be too odd. Why would I go with a mate of your ex?"

"I'm going with my exes mate," Lily pointed out.

"The whole thing is already completely mental. Adding Sirius to the mix won't do much, will it?"

"I'm not so sure about that," Marlene said with a laugh.

"Listen. Go with him. You two have fun together when you're not at each other's throats."

Marlene considered that, shrugged.

"True enough."

* * *

In the grand scheme of things, it was ridiculous for James to believe that he could avoid running into her at the Ministry bash. The mansion, owned by a slimy Pureblood family that was holding the party in a bid to cling to their good name was, theoretically, large enough to avoid another person.

But theory never held up well against anything that had to do with James and Lily.

And so, midway through the night when Lily and Remus were laughing and fumbling their way through a dance, James shouldn't have been surprised when the dance called for the ladies to join up with the partner across from them and she ended up dancing right into his arms.

For a moment, Lily stopped dancing. It nearly caused a collision with several other couples, who looked at the pair strangely. Quickly, James established a loose grip around her waist and moved into the series of steps.

Lily stopped again, other couples be damned. Wisely, the other dancers simply moved around James and Lily, as if they weren't in the center of the ballroom, becoming something of a spectacle.

"I'm sorry," Lily said, breathless from dancing, "But no."

"Okay."

She looked at him, dressed sharply in the finest robes money could buy. Her heart felt like it might rocket out of her chest at the sight of him. One hand was extended toward her, for the dance, and the feeling in her chest worsened.

"I can't-"

"I know," he said, though he wasn't sure he did.

"You look good, though."

Lily's smile was wobbly and then she disappeared into the depths of the crowd, without a backward glance. Her face was flaming as she made her way past Ministry officials, beyond the tables of food, and out into the lavish garden.

The summer breeze touched her face, stirred the hair that Mary and Marlene had artfully secured in a complicated twist. She tipped her face up to the dark sky, drawing in a deep lungful of fresh air.

"Care for a smoke, Lily?"

Lily smiled at Peter as he approached, holding out his pack as if it were a peace offering of sorts. He looked somewhat guilty as he drew nearer, his round cheeks flushed. She knew instantly that he had seen her whenever they passed at a distance. He just didn't know what to say, either.

"Yes, thank you."

Lily plucked a cigarette from the pack and he lit it for her, snapping the lighter closed and tucking it away neatly, and with a small smile.

"How have you been, Peter?"

"Well enough. Lucy's chatting with her friends, so I thought I'd come out for air."

"It's crowded in there, isn't it?"

"Nearly unbearable," he admitted.

"How about you? How've you been?"

"Fine, thanks," Lily said with a smile.

She toyed with the cigarette she was holding, mostly looking at the glowing tip when she asked,

"I know you don't owe me a single thing but…"

Peter bumped her shoulder lightly with his, drawing her gaze up to meet his.

"What is it?"

"Would you tell Remus I had to go. He's in the ballroom, and to be perfectly honest, I don't think I can go back in."

"I can do that," he said quietly.

"You'll be okay getting home?"

"Yes," on impulse, Lily gave his cheek a fleeting kiss.

"Thank you, Peter."

She squeezed his robed arm as she passed him, locating the apparation point in the almost complete darkness.

* * *

Marlene returned to the Evans home at half past four. She apparated in the garden, behind a overgrown shrub to prevent any Muggles from seeing. She nearly took a tumble on the way in. Her heel, a fire red thing that she bought with money she didn't have, wobbled dangerously on the concrete and then snapped.

She managed to right herself, laughing and cursing as she closed the door behind herself.

"Fuck all," she groaned, cradling the precious, slender heel in one hand.

She would have merrily continued upstairs and fallen into a dreamy, alcohol induced sleep if it wasn't for the quiet sniffling that came from the family room. It took some effort, but she managed to kick off the other heel and fumble for the light switch at the same time.

She found Lily curled up on the couch, still in her dress robe. It was a magnificent robe, a lovely pale pink, lightweight for summer, that draped over her gentle curves.

It was still lovely, Marlene mused, but Lily looked worse for wear. Her eyes were streaked with makeup. Her nose was bright red as heaved in a deep breath that shuddered out.

"Oh, come now, love."

Marlene clucked, shooing Lily so she would scoot over and the dark haired witch could seat herself.

"What's the matter?"

The tears were still coming in a steady stream. Lily brushed them away with her knuckles, managing to smear her makeup across one cheek.

"I'm trying…to figure out how I'll…avoid James for the rest of my life," at this, she shook her head, snorting and crying all at once.

It was ghastly and there was a great deal of snot leaking from her. All the same, Marlene gathered Lily up for a proper, smothering hug.

"And I don't know how I'll manage it."

"Of course you ran into him," Marlene's laugh was bitter as she patted Lily's head in a way that she thought would be very comforting. No more was said on the subject.

Lily leaned into Marlene, one of them drunk and exhausted, the other plain exhausted from circumstances - each of them fell easily to sleep.

* * *

"Remus?"

"Yes?"

James rolled up the sleeves of his robes as he settled in on the couch. Sirius had taken the bed, Peter had the guest room, and Remus was returning home for the night.

The question was silly, bordering on ridiculous, but James felt compelled to ask,

"How did it feel…dancing with Evans?"

Remus paused at the Floo. He looked back at James, attempting to lounge casually, but feeling far too awake for the time.

"It was…good. She didn't know half the steps, but neither did I."

"She feels nice, doesn't she? In a general way. She used to feel nice, is all."

"Yes, Prongs. She does."

Long after the Floo had died down, James was inspecting the ceiling. To the darkness, he said,

"Thought so."


	8. Oh lonesome me

In a barn on the outskirts of Godric's Hollow a man's bones were breaking. They rearranged themselves with little thought to owner who gave a startled gasp of pain and promptly collapsed onto the floor.

The Marauders collectively looked away, knowing it was almost finished. Any minute now the writhing and pained noises would end and Moony would be out and about to play.

"Wormtail, get the door," James ordered.

Peter took care of the locks and then transformed into his rat form. He scurried over to Remus as he endured the remainder of the transformation.

"Padfoot, after you."

Sirius was replaced with Padfoot, who whined and trotted in place as Remus' back arched off the floor. Next the stag appeared, bowing congenially so the rat could scurry onto his antlers.

The three animals stood at the ready. Eventually the man was gone. His clothes were in a pile off to the side, safe from the transformation and the brutally sharp claws of the werewolf who appeared in his place.

Moony lumbered to his feet, sniffing the floor and exploring around the others. Padfoot promptly rolled onto his back, exposing his neck and belly for the wolf. Prongs and Wormtail remained perfectly still as the wolf nudged and nipped at them.

The ritual didn't take long. Once completed, Moony took off into the recesses of the transfigured barn, hearing the footfalls of the stag and dog behind him as he ran.

* * *

Lily was rubbish at cooking. Not only did she hate it, looking at it as the worst of chores, but she never took it upon herself to learn any recipes. The only exception to her fierce hatred for anything cooking-related was breakfast. She loved a proper fry-up and if she was in the mood or was asked likely, could do a hell of a job cooking it up and make enough for an army.

Despite her equally strong hatred for early mornings, she was awake before the sun. Half-asleep, a fresh pillow mark etched onto one oh her cheeks, Lily padded downstairs into the kitchen. She yawned hugely as she flipped on the wireless. The sound of the day's news filled the kitchen before it was replaced by music she was able to hum along to.

She had a busy day ahead of her. Normally she liked to sleep in and luxuriate in having nowhere to go on the weekend. But she had made plans with Marlene, Dorcas, and Caroline Diggory - who had quit her job at the Ministry since her marriage. Lily was looking forward to spending the afternoon with them, even if she hadn't been sleeping well. She would power through and enjoy herself. They were always good for a laugh and helping her when she was down.

Despite the early start, it would be a lovely day.

Thinking absently of the day's plans, Lily started the sausage and bacon first. Once she had a cup of tea under her belt, she began plating everything. She nibbled a few bites of eggs and bacon while she placed heating charms on all the dishes. Glancing at the clock, she caught the time and hurried to slip on a pair of jeans and her trainers.

It was drizzling when she apparated into the garden at Godric's Hollow. The house was still dark, as if the occupant was still sleeping instead of out running wild with a werewolf.

Lily disengaged the wards and walked in through the back entrance. She experienced several moments of guilt as she removed the charmed platters from her pocket. They were each the size of a thumbnail and hot to the touch. She contemplated taking the food and leaving without any trace that she had been there.

Instead she set out four plates, utensils, napkins, and mugs of tea. She checked that the heating charms were in place, took a final look around the room and hurried back into the garden to apparate home.

* * *

With a final howl, Moony collapsed onto the floor. The sound quickly died away as his bones snapped and he was nearly overcome with pain, too stunned by it to make a sound.

His vision swam and then refocused. The stag was gone, and then James was by his side, pulling a blanket over his naked form. Peter was next, scooting a pillow beneath his head. Sirius was last. He appeared with Remus' jumper, which he had infused with a powerful heating charm.

After a few minutes of silence, during which Remus struggled to catch his breath through the waves of pain and nausea, he lay back and closed his eyes. Sleep was close. His body was still throbbing, every cell on alert from the pain, but exhaustion battled for his attention.

"Not yet, mate. We need to get your clothes on."

Remus recognized Sirius' voice, met his grey gaze when he blinked drowsily.

"C-can't. Too…tired."

"I know," Sirius said quietly. He was too used to the conversation to be irritated.

"I know you are. All you have to do is lie there, alright?"

"Sirius, I d-don't-"

"None of that. You're too tired to make any sense, anyway."

James and Sirius orchestrated the clothing maneuver. Peter checked for any broken bones, and they healed several scratches along his back. Sirius kept up a low stream of chatter as they worked. He commented on the weather, teased Remus about the hole in the sleeve of his jumper.

They were nearly experts at it by now. His trousers were always the most difficult part. Remus had a streak of pride a mile long, and it was a battle to convince him to lie still enough for them to do it.

They placed socks on his feet and a hat over his head. Peter secured the blanket over Remus with a sticking charm and then they threw the invisibility cloak over his sleeping figure as they levitated him back into the house.

Sirius got him upstairs and tucked into the guest room where he would sleep for most of the day, until they forced food on him. When he returned downstairs, Sirius stopped on his way over to the couch where he would normally set his alarm in time to wake Remus for a late lunch. Peter and James stood stock still in the center of the kitchen, staring at the wall with open mouths.

"What's the matter? If it can wait until later, that would be golden…"

He wandered into the room and joined the other two, catching sight of the breakfast spread that caught their attention.

"It was Evans," Peter said quietly.

That much was obvious, but Peter conveyed their shock perfectly. Lily had started making the breakfasts after graduation. Since Hogwarts, a full moon hadn't gone by without her making them a spread to come back to.

Despite James and Remus' insistence that she wasn't obligated to do anything of the sort, she stubbornly continued the tradition. They would gather around Remus' bedside, helping him with his lot before he fell asleep in the pudding.

After, they all crawled into their beds, or returned home, to sleep away the afternoon.

"She even brought extra pudding, for Remus," Peter added.

James hadn't even thought of the breakfasts. He certainly wasn't expecting to come home to a feast. It reminded him of what normally transpired after the meal, when they crawled into bed together, sleepy and safe, sleeping away the remainder of the day.

Of course that wouldn't be the case today.

"Let's get this eaten, yeah? Not doing any good letting it sit there," Sirius said briskly.

James nodded slowly, his eyes strangely glassy behind his glasses. Peter and Sirius gave him a moment when he turned away, pretending to rummage for something on the opposite counter.

In the meantime, Sirius served up the food. His eyes nearly rolled back in his head when he ate a bite of sausage. When they were finished plating the food and distributing tea, the threesome took a seat at the kitchen table. They ate in silence for several minutes, until it became too much and Peter began talking quietly about Quidditch statistics. Sirius added to the chatter, groaning about the last match and how abysmally they performed.

James laughed in the right places, even added a comment now and again. And even though he lapsed into prolonged silences every so often, the two Marauders were grateful he got through the breakfast looking somewhat back to normal.


	9. Lioness

"Lily?"

Caroline Diggory poked her head into the loo. She was dressed from head to foot in black but offered a small smile despite the gloomy day. It was worn around the edges, her lips trembling with the effort to lift themselves.

She was a mousy young woman, always recklessly cheerful and doing her best to carry on in a world that seemed insistent on imploding.

Lily appreciated the gesture and offered one of her own.

"Is it time?"

Caroline nodded.

Lily sighed. It was a quiet sound, one she hadn't intended to vocalize. She smoothed a hand over her black dress as she stood. She avoided her reflection. She already knew the tired lines would be there, around her mouth and eyes.

Another funeral, this time for the relatives of a schoolmate who had graduated a year ahead of them. Their deaths had made the front page of the Prophet and were reported in excruciating detail. Lily had read each report, stomach turning as the flames danced in the magical photographs that accompanied them.

The funerals were becoming a tired routine. They were silent, devastating affairs. Each one produced an even greater sense of helplessness than the last. A feeling that they were all going through the motions as the world burned to the ground around them.

"Marlene is having breakfast with Mary. Said they'll find us when they arrive."

"I'm ready if you are."

Something was different. As soon as their feet touched the ground, the two women shared a look, feeling the tense undercurrent in the air.

They made their way through the gates of the cemetery, linking arms as they traveled the uneven path. There was already a decent sized crowd gathered, their voices pitched in a low buzz.

"I don't like this," Caroline said quietly.

Lily craned her neck and frowned as the whispers intensified.

"Me either."

She caught sight of Marlene and Mary making their way through the spooked crowd and waved them over.

Before they could discuss the odd, nervous-looking crowd, a scream rang out, startling them from their thoughts.

At first it looked as if a great storm cloud was hovering over the mourners. Abruptly, the dark, swarming mass dispersed in a great jet of light as Death Eaters materialized around the crowd.

Lily heard Caroline's scream and grappled for her friend's hand as she produced her wand. At the same time, the ground rocked beneath their feet and she had to claw at Caroline's hand before taking hold.

The last coherent thing Lily saw was Marlene's stunned expression turning into one of fierce anger before they were separated. Lily and Caroline were swallowed into the frenzied crowd as they began stampeding toward the exit.

Their attempts to apparate were unsuccessful, prompting cries about dark magic as the Death Eaters began descending on many of the unarmed witches and wizards.

A jet of green light soared past Lily, striking a man behind her. Sickness swelled inside of her as his lifeless body stiffened and then fell onto the grass.

Lily stunned the Death Eater and pulled Caroline with her as they struggled toward the exit. The grass was slippery and uneven from the recent rain and Lily was terrified that they would never reach their destination.

Her panic mounted as the screams intensified. She lost her footing and fell, tearing her dress and breaking a heel. Caroline took out a Death Eater who would have struck while she was down. Quickly, Lily kicked the useless shoe off and got to her feet so she could push Caroline through the gates where she apparated back to the flat.

Lily was prepared to do the same. She had turned her back on the scene but the screams sent a chill racing up her spine.

And she did the one thing that would change the outcome of the rest of her life. As mourners raced for the gates she turned, taking in the scene fully.

She saw Alice Longbottom fighting off a handful of Death Eaters, allowing a family to escape with their crying children in their arms. Not far from her, an Auror was struck in the chest, falling with a look of astonishment.

Alice hardly registered the fallen man. She continued dueling, effortlessly fighting off the growing mass.

Lily felt the slick ground beneath her bare feet and realized she was running to, rather than from, the fray.

"That all you got, you manky git?"

Lily recognized the barking laughter that followed the casual insult and nearly laughed as Sirius grinned and took out two of the Death Eaters who had been attempting to corner Alice.

"Figured you slept through your summons, Black," Alice said with her usual good humor. She waved her wand and knocked the final Death Eater off his feet, before shooting Sirius a small smile.

"Insulting. I'd never miss a fight. Favorite way to start my day, it is."

Lily nearly slumped against the fence in relief. The feeling was short lived as she spotted James doing battle nearby. She recognized the shock of messy hair and then heard his laugh carry over the mayhem.

He was laughing at whatever the Death Eater had said to him, oblivious as another robed figure took aim at his back.

Lily felt her stomach plummet and then come back up again as she broke into a run, her dress tearing so the ragged edges fluttered around her knees as she shot off a curse mid-run that had the Death Eater on their back before James had any idea that he was in danger.

Lily felt a hand on her back and broke off mid-curse at the sight of Marlene.

"Nice shot," her friend said with a lopsided smile. There was an alarming mixture of blood and mud smeared near her hairline, but other than that, she appeared spoiling for a duel.

"I've got your back, mate. Let's help with cleanup and get the hell out, yeah?"

* * *

James didn't know she was there until near the end when Sirius pointed it out to him. And then he couldn't stop noticing. He tried to stay near her, but she was constantly on the move with Marlene covering her and vice versa.

They were a wild force, moving in a whirl of anger and amateur maneuvers, none of them having received any substantial training to duel against an army unleashing dark magic. If he could have stopped to watch, he would have stood in awe of the sheer anger and passion of their movements.

Instead he covered for Remus and Peter as they ran the injured from the cemetery to the gates where they were whisked away to St. Mungo's for medical care.

When it was all over, he caught sight of them near the gates. Marlene was on her knees in the grass and Lily was offering her a hand up. Once she was on her feet, Lily hugged her and they disappeared through the gate, their hands clasped tightly.

He almost let her go. She was covered in mud, her hair a riot down her back as she retreated into the distance. And then he did the one thing that would change the outcome of the rest of his life.

He called out to her.

"Evans!"

He was running, past Sirius who was grouped with Alice and a few others from the Ministry. Past injured Aurors and crying families, weeping out of sheer relief that they were still alive.

He repeated her name, not realizing he was shouting it or that she'd heard until he watched her turn and catch sight of him hurtling through the gates.

And then he was standing in front of her, both of them covered in mud, ragged and disoriented from the fight.

Lily's hand was still clasped in Marlene's when James stepped forward, lifting his hand to cradle her muddy cheek.

"Alright, Evans? McKinnon?"

Marlene nodded, smiling slightly. Lily turned her face into his hand, feeling a strange warmth spread from her cheek through the rest of her.

"Surviving. You?"

He had no need to answer because then she was kissing him, mud and all, and he was as right as he'd ever be.


	10. Stars

_July _

They didn't make it to the bedroom. It was a testament to their willpower that they didn't shag in the middle of the street to begin with.

There was a trail from the front door to the stairs, staring with mismatched trainers and ending with her jumper and his trousers. A broken lamp wasn't far from where they ended up. It was an unfortunate casualty after Lily threw herself into James' waiting arms and they crashed recklessly into an end table.

They glanced at the broken pieces and shared a small smile.

The floor was chilly so he dragged the afghan off the couch and tucked it over them. Beneath the fabric, he traced a light pattern around her hip bone before pushing the blanket aside so he could lean down and place a kiss on the cooling flesh.

Lily shivered, less from the cold than the sensation, and pulled him back up to capture his lips. Her fingers threaded into his mess of hair, giving it a gentle tug that made him grin against her lips.

"Evans?"

"Hmm?"

She burrowed into his chest, peppering the flesh there with feathery kisses followed up by gentle nips that made him lose focus for several moments. After a thorough snog, he settled his glasses on the bridge of his nose and leaned back to maintain his concentration.

"Will you marry me?"

Her expression revealed a great deal less shock than he expected. He hadn't planned to say it. Merlin knows if he had planned to say it after shagging, he would have at least done more to make sure they ended up in a bed. Any bed would be better than the floor.

Instead she looked…catiously happy. Her lips pursed and she cleared her throat a few times, glancing down as her fingers toyed with the frayed edges of the afghan.

"A few things first."

James slid into the sitting position, helping her to do the same, and laughed. She laughed with him, even leaning in to steal a kiss before snagging the afghan and covering her more distracting bits.

"I'm going to stay in my parents home until the sale is final."

"But…"

She pressed a single finger against his lips, gently cutting him off before he could get started in on why it was a horrible idea.

"I have a lot to get done there before the new owners move in. And I want to stay. It's like saying goodbye properly."

James nodded mutely and she continued,

"And I want to pay for half of the house. This house," she added as if it need clarifying.

"Absolutely not! Lily, I already made the payment. There's no point to it."

"There is to me," she said quietly.

Money was a point of contention between them. Mostly because he had it and spent it indiscriminately and she didn't and needed to talk through major purchases beforehand. It had caused a few rows and played a part in their separation. She was determined that it wouldn't come between them again, and forced herself to say the next bit,

"If it's going to be my home, too, I'd like to pay for my part. Partners, right?"

James still hated the idea, but nodded because it was sounding more and more like she was saying yes.

"Alright," she said with a smile that he felt all the way to his toes.

"Ask me again, James."

Even though they were naked and ridiculous, both sprawled at the foot of the stairs, James straightened up. He placed her jumper over his lap before taking one of her hands in his so he could brush a kiss over her knuckles.

"Lily, if you think the stars have aligned to your liking," she laughed and he bit back a smile as he moved closer, placing a gentle kiss to each of her cheeks.

"Will you marry me?"

Lily took his face between her hands and he was mesmerized by her eyes and the way they sparkled with unshed tears.

"Yes," Smiling, she touched her forehead to his.

"Of course."

The tears slid down her cheeks but she was laughing when she kissed him. And suddenly the floor wasn't so cold, and the feeling wasn't all that uncomfortable. And either way, they were too caught up in one another to notice.


	11. Great Galloping Godric

"Great galloping Godric."

Lily winced, but she was smiling as Marlene grabbed her hand, nearly throwing the redhead off balance as she peered at the glittering band on her ring finger.

"What the fuck is it?"

Mary MacDonald let out a loud, sputtering laugh. Caroline shot a censoring look at Marlene who was too busy gaping at the ring to notice.

"James proposed."

"And you said _yes?" _

Marlene looked completely horrified by the idea.

"Quit being such a cow, Marlene," Caroline said briskly.

"Lily's excited, just look at her."

"Really, Mar," Mary added.

She dropped a kiss on Lily's cheek, giving her shoulder a squeeze as she breezed by to jab Marlene in the ribs.

"Let her be happy."

"I…but," Marlene looked wildly around the room before her gaze settled on Lily who smiled in understanding.

"I know it's soon. It doesn't make sense, but it's right."

Without another word, Marlene released Lily's finger, looking like she might excuse herself from the room. Sensing her friend's mood, Lily caught Marlene's hand so she could thread their fingers together.

"This isn't the end, Marlene. I like James alright, but you're still my favorite."

"Rubbish," Marlene said with a weak smile.

"It's true. And if you don't come around regularly and save me from James and Sirius' madness, I'll be lost."

Mary and Caroline shared a knowing look and began transfiguring glasses for a celebratory toast while the dark haired witch drew Lily into a crushing hug.

"You're mental to marry him, you know," Marlene sniffed.

Lily rubbed Marlene's back in small soothing circles.

"Completely."

"Can't help it, can you?"

"No, not when it comes to him."

* * *

Once Mary and Caroline left for the night, Lily began doing her final walk-through to make sure her childhood home was ready for the new occupants.

She had painted each room without magic. The rooms gleamed with the fresh coat of paint and other touches she added to make it a clean slate. Without the furnishings it looked like someone else's house, nearly unfamiliar in its state.

She was glad to be rid of it. For the fresh start that waited beyond its walls.

Lily was trapped in her thoughts when Marlene settled in next to her with a bottle of Firewhiskey.

"I'm sorry I was a cow earlier."

"You weren't a cow. Just surprised," Lily assured her.

"You have to promise that you won't become Caroline."

At Lily's startled laugh, Marlene rushed to explain, "I love her dearly, you know I do. But she's completely lost her sense of adventure since she settled in with Diggory."

"Caroline's always been the most sensible out of us, though. Back in school she was good at keeping herself out of trouble."

Marlene took a long pull of Firewhiskey. She appeared thoughtful and then had to agree with Lily's assessment.

"That's true enough, I suppose. Marriage has only made her more comfortable. Even less likely to run out and do something mad."

Lily accepted the bottle from her friend, taking a quick sip that had a fiery warmth spreading through her.

"You're worried I'll turn into a normal married. But think of it this way - when James and I were dating, did I become mellow and sensible?"

Marlene grinned at that, remembering the nights out where they had roamed the streets until dawn, talking and laughing over drinks. Their circle had grown bigger, certainly, stretching to accommodate James and the others until they were a rambling family of sorts.

The sort of family that hollered at one another loud enough to bring the roof down, nearly drove one another mad at times. But somehow always managed to pull together and do what needed to be done when one of their own was in distress.

"No," Marlene said finally.

"You're right. Although you do have my condolences for having to marry a Potter _and_ a Black. Can't have one without the other in their little gang of codependent cohorts."

Lily fell back against the wall with a laugh, knowing full well the truth in what the other witch said. A moment later, Marlene gave in to the absurdity of it and joined Lily, laughing as they passed the bottle between them for the rest of the night.


	12. Miracle mile

**A/N Casual warning for mentions of blood, death, and scary stuff in this chapter. Not as bad as it sounds, and it will make more sense when you read through. Just go with it and things will come together.  
**

* * *

_1 flask of brown liquid_

_1 charm_

_8 minutes to make it from one end of the field to the other_

* * *

_Go_

* * *

Lily spotted Caroline and Mary first, nearly tripped over their bodies before stopping short.

Her stomach pitched instinctively at the sight. Their eyes were glazed, empty. The overgrown grass danced with the breeze, tickling their grotesquely posed limbs.

She shut her eyes, leaning against a rotting tree trunk as her breath came out in desperate bursts.

_Breathe. Whatever happens, just breathe._

James was there when she opened her eyes. He was at the edge of the field, his smile spurning her on as she straightened and scanned the treeline for signs of movement. She took a cautious step. Light burst from between the trees, as she thought it would. She dodged the curses with a few close calls as she came upon Sirius reaching for her from the ground.

Blood was leaking from his nose, smeared across his cheek as he crawled over to her. He was pulling Remus' limp form beside him, his arm looped frantically around the other man's waist as he pulled them through the mud and grass.

"Evans…please, you have to help."

She could hear each breath rattling through Sirius' body. She remembered the sound from when her father took his last breaths. Just the thought of it had chills breaking out over her skin.

_It'll get worse before it gets better. You have to keep going, love._

"What are you doing?" Sirius cried as she turned away, his handsome face twisting in pain.

"Help me!"

Lily broke into a run. She passed by Peter and Petunia, both reaching for her much in the same way Sirius had. Their hands reached to take hold of her clothing, pawing the air around her with matching looks of anguish.

The frequency of the curses coming from the trees intensified until she was running through a haze of color. It was disorienting, adding to her terror as she countered them with a series of frenzied maneuvers.

Suddenly, Marlene's lifeless form blocked her path. She was in the center of the field, her hand still clutching her wand, a look of terror frozen on her face. Her dark hair was tangled in the grass and matted with blood. The Muggle jeans Lily had given her for her birthday were torn, revealing bruising flesh beneath the denim.

Lily forced back a sob, nearly running to the witch even as she knew it was no use.

_Nothing is real here. You have to keep going._

Lily felt the sting of a curse hitting her leg. She faltered, nearly taking a tumble into the weeds. She manged to right herself as her parents materialized next to Marlene. They each looked exactly as she remembered them.

Her mother looked apologetic, her father seeming sad as they took in the scene around them.

"She's with us now, dear," her mother said quietly.

"He'll be next," her father remarked, nodding at James.

James was still standing at the edge of the field. As if he knew he was being discussed, he rocked back on his heels and smiled. Lily began shaking her head, blinked a few times to try to banish their image.

"No, no, no…"

In the distance, James swiped a hand through his hair so it stuck in all directions. He called out to her, but his words sounded like they were traveling through a heavy fog.

With a sick feeling in her chest, Lily pressed forward. The curses weren't as frequent and then dropped off altogether when she reached James. He opened his arms to her, but before she could run into them he grunted and took a step back.

"James?"

His face contorted, first in surprise, then pain as a stain of red bloomed over his heart. Blood seeped through his shirt, then his fingers. She heard his breath rush out as he fell back onto the grass, his body disappearing altogether when it made contact with the ground.

Lily felt a pair of arms come around her. She was on the ground, her legs trembling so violently that she wasn't sure she could stand. Strands of hair had come loose from her ponytail and were clinging to her cheeks as her teeth chattered, despite the warmth of the afternoon sunshine.

"Lily," a small hand brushed aside the strands of hair. And then she was looking up into Alice Longbottom's smiling face, noting the look of fierce pride as the older witch helped her stand.

"Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Evans."

* * *

They went out for drinks to celebrate. Sirius was buying the first round, handing out sloppy, proud kisses without any discrimination as Rosmerta filled their order.

Lily accepted the smacking kiss, grinning as Sirius pulled away and pushed a drink into her hand before moving on to the next poor sod. She took a healthy sip and then set the glass down with a grimace. She caught James watching from the end of the bar where he was leaning with his own drink in hand. Their gazes met, and he aimed a small smile her way.

It reminded her too much of the way he had appeared in the forest. She felt a stab of fear bloom in her chest, bur forced it down as he approached.

"You okay?"

He leaned in so he could be heard over the din, filling her with the scent of forest and laundry soap. Lily nodded, but stepped closer so her chin was resting on his shoulder.

It was like a hug without the tangle of limbs. She was content to be pressed together with him, not moving or speaking as the bar erupted in fierce celebration.

Realizing she was in no hurry to move, James set his drink on the bar and wound one arm around her waist. He gave her a squeeze and both her arms came up in a loose hold around his neck.

She pressed her face into his collar, giving the skin there a quick kiss before drawing back to meet his worried gaze.

"It was hard," she admitted.

Understanding, he nodded. Without another word, he gave Remus, who was closest, a tap on the shoulder, letting him know they were leaving so he could tell the others.

They left hand in hand, taking a long walk down the mostly empty streets. She did most of the talking. It spilled out of her, about the blood and confusion. The way her head was still swimming with the images, how she was afraid they would stay with her forever. He listened. Always a great listener when he put his mind to it, he let her talk it out in quiet bursts, keeping her anchored to the present with his reassuring hold around her waist.

Just before they returned home, she asked about his experience, wondering what he saw under the effects of the hellish charm. Wanting to return the comfort he had given her by listening.

"Some other time," he said simply.

"Another night, a few drinks and I'll tell you. Not tonight."

Lily pondered this.

"That bad?"

James merely nodded, his expression pained before he could chase the thoughts away.

"That bad."

* * *

It woke him in the middle of the night.

His dream ended in colorful bursts, flashbacks that brought him to his knees the first time now had him sitting upright in bed. He threw the covers off, feeling a cold sweat breaking out over his skin as he swung over his legs over the side of the bed. He thought he might be sick, and prepared to lurch in the direction of the loo.

There was a faint rustling in the darkness and then light flooded the room. Lily switched on the lamp, chasing away the darkness as she leaned over to wrap an arm around his waist, bringing him back to the present where he needed to be.

"Merlin, I'm going to be sick," he gasped the words, feeling the shame of it well up inside him.

The bed creaked gently as Lily scrambled onto her knees so she could sit beside him. She wanted to bundle him in her arms, but thought it might increase his panic to do so. Instead, she took one of his hands in hers, instructing gently,

"Try lowering your head between your legs. Just breathe, remember? You told me that before I went through my trial."

James did as she suggested, feeling her warm palm rubbing his bare back.

"I did, didn't I?"

"You're quite insightful when you want to be. It got me through the worst of it, too."

They were silent then, and James closed his eyes, concentrating on taking deep, even breaths. Eventually his galloping heart slowed to a closer to normal rate. His body ceased its shivering, all while Lily silently rubbed his back. He was able to straighten up, no longer feeling sick as Lily placed a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Better?"

"Better."

He would have liked to haul her in for a proper snog, but guessing his intentions, she dashed out of reach, grabbing her robe from where it hung in the closet.

"What are you up to? Come back to bed."

"I'm going to make tea. And when I get back, you're going to tell me about your time in the forest."

James dropped back against the pillows, watching as she pulled the robe around the parts of her that weren't covered by her nightshirt. Thoroughly disappointed, he mustered an excellent pout.

"Or we could-"

Lily ran back and pressed her lips against his before he could suggest it.

"Plenty of time for all of that."

Her smile dimmed and she grew somber as she cupped his cheek, her fingers playing over the light stubble there.

"It might help to talk about it. Chase the nightmares away."

Feeling foolishly grateful for the witch who stood in front of him, James merely nodded, missing the warmth of her hand when she made her way downstairs to put the kettle on.

It was nearing morning when they finally fell back to sleep. Their tea cups were forgotten on the nightstand, the lamp still burning brightly, chasing away the darkness as they settled together in a tangle of limbs in the center of the bed.

Blessedly, nightmare-free.

* * *

**A/N I tried depicting the opening scene in a way that cleared up any confusion. Initiation into the Order involving a wicked, nightmarish test in speed, defense, and strength in the face of some of their worst fears. I went with Lily's POV because it's the one that came to me. Any questions about it, let me know and I'll try to untangle my headcanon and fill you in!**

**Difficult but rewarding to write! Thanks for reading, everyone. Drop me a review and I'll love you forever.**


	13. Alone down there part 1

Sundays were a blessed treat for Remus. Weekdays were spent dragging himself from the warmth of his bed, trudging to a job he hated, and returning home at night to a drafty, miserable flat.

Saturdays were usually spent with the others. Sometimes it was breakfast or an afternoon playing a pickup game of Quidditch in the garden.

Sundays were meant for luxuriating in bed. Most of the time it felt like he was catching up on an entire week of missed sleep in one day. Which is why he was surprised to hear a furious pounding at his door early one Sunday.

A quick peak at the clock showed that it was half past seven. Remus groaned, reaching for his wand on the nightstand and rolling out of bed in a fluid motion. His eyes didn't even open properly until he was at the door, peering through the peephole cautiously.

A witch with a shock of white, frizzy hair stood on the other side. The harsh knocking resumed as she looked up at the handsome black man who stood next to her in Auror robes.

"I know he's in there. Open up, Lupin!"

Startled, Remus opened the door, attempting to smooth his bedhead and appear awake in the process.

"Good morning, Mrs. Kelver."

The witch pursed her lips, mostly ignoring Remus and looking at the Auror with severe distaste for her tenant.

"I want him out of here, Auror Shackelbolt."

The Auror stepped in front of the witch, something like regret flashing in his gaze.

"Remus, I need you to come with me to the Ministry."

"What did I do?"

"Housing legislation was passed overnight," the Auror explained quietly.

"Among other things, tenants can be removed from their residence if they moved in without disclosing their status to the landlord."

"H-how..?" Remus took a step back, the fear nearly undoing him at the hatred he saw in the older witch's gaze.

"How did she find out?"

"The legislation grants access to medical records. Mrs. Kelver suspected, and once she located your file among the others…"

Remus was grateful that the Auror allowed him to walk on his own. Mrs. Kelver appeared incensed that he didn't receive the Kiss right there on the doorstep, but she was reassured by another Auror that Remus was headed for a cell while the Ministry decided what to do with him. In the meantime, his possessions would be cleared out of the apartment, including the groceries he had purchased only the day before.

All thrown out, every trace of him removed from the shabby flat.

Remus was in a state of horrified disbelief as the Auror, Kingsley, lead him away from his home to apparate directly into a lesser known Ministry entrance.

"Another Auror is coming to take care of your things. I put in a request for Auror Black. He'll get the notice as soon as he clocks in."

Remus knew vaguely, somewhere in the back of his mind that it was a good thing that Sirius would be the one to handle it. He was grateful to Kingsley for handling the whole thing with much more sensitivity than was required of him.

Still, Remus felt as if he was floating, his footsteps barely registering as they traveled down a long, winding hallway. When they cleared the first doorway, they entered another hall with rows of temporary holding cells.

Hands clung to the bars and voices cried out as they passed. Remus looked at each of the mournful faces, taking in the varying expressions of bewilderment and palpable fear.

Kingsley paused in front of the last cell, near a door that lead to a main corridor of the Ministry, and gestured for Remus to enter.

"I'm on duty for another hour or so. You'll be fine under my watch, Lupin."

"Thank you," Remus said quietly.

"For everything."

The Auror stepped away and nodded briskly. The cell door clanged shut as Kingsley disappeared from view. Remus peered settled in on the bench, staring at the wall through the bars, feeling an indescribable weight settle on his slumped shoulders.

* * *

Lily was having a wicked dream involving James and the chocolate sauce they had in the fridge when the Howler arrived. All at once she was ripped from sleep, bolting up in bed as Sirius' voice filled the bedroom.

"_Evans, Moony's in trouble. A certain, _detrimental_ bit of legislation passed the Ministry last night. They're holding him in central._"

Sirius' voice grew louder, filling the room as she tumbled out of bed and rushed to pull on a pair of trousers. She located a shirt, discovered it belonged to James as the material pooled around her waist, tugged it on anyway.

"_Use the one entrance to the place_," he ordered, purposefully vague, knowing she'd understand.

"_Contact the Auror on duty. If he isn't receptive, do what you have to in order to distract the lot of them. Prongs and Wormtail are in place as we speak_."

The letter promptly burst into flames, disappearing into a heap of ash on the floor. Lily stepped around it, locating her wand and yanking a comb through her hair at the same time.

Within minutes she was using the officials entrance into the Ministry holding area. It was relatively deserted, most of the activity going on behind the massive oak desk that she approached with a confident tilt of her chin.

She didn't recognize the Auror on duty - a bad sign if she was going to quickly and peacefully get Remus out from his cell. She had expected a younger Auror, prayed briefly for Frank or someone else she recognized.

No such luck.

"Can I help you, miss?"

"Yes. I'm here to retrieve Remus Lupin."

"What's he being held for?"

"I have no idea. I received word that he was here and came to collect him."

The man glanced at the messy redhead, starting with her tangle of hair, the too-large shirt, and wrinkled trousers. A look of impatience crossed her features and for that he took his time pulling the file.

"Says here he's to be held with the other half-breeds. No fine, and no release."

"I brought plenty of money," Lily insisted.

She had swiped the emergency fund from the cabinet above the fridge before she journeyed to the Ministry. It had turned out to be more than she expected, and she took the lot gratefully.

To prove her point, she flashed a handful of gold at the unimpressed Auror.

"Orders are orders. Move along."

_Orders are orders. _Lily remembered the Howler. Sirius' instructions to get Remus out and leave, or provide a distraction if the Auror on duty was unwilling to cooperate.

Without giving too much thought to her job, or the fact that she'd certainly be sacked, she produced her wand and shot off a harmless burst of light.

The Auror startled, instinctively moving for his wand and aiming a stunning spell that Lily dodged with a mischievous grin that served to infuriate him. She ran around the other side of the desk, using her wand to send a brisk breeze across the stacks of paperwork.

Parchment erupted all over the room, flying up and scattering into perfect chaos. The Auror shouted something, most likely ordering her to stop and turn over her wand. They were drawing attention from other departments. She could hear thunderous footsteps nearby and knew backup was coming.

_Perfect_.

Lily shot off another wild display of sparks. Color bloomed dizzingly, coupled with another gust of wind that had doors slamming, picture frames coming off the walls and crashing to the ground in piles of broken glass.

When she had drawn enough of a crowd, Lily halted her progress. The Auror on duty had his wand trained on her head. Carefully, Lily placed her wand on the nearest table. She held her hands up in surrender, tried smiling in a very non-threatening manner.

"Just having a bit of fun," she said mildly.

A moment later she was facedown on the ground, her hands hauled behind her back as a cell was selected for holding.

* * *

At the same time that Lily was being hauled away thanks to the her stunt in the lower level of the Ministry, Sirius was frantically packing Remus' beloved books. He was using magic to fold trousers and shirts, at the same time he ordered a row of books at a time into the boxes he brought. He had an hour left to get everything packed, and he was determined that nothing would get left behind.

In the Ministry, Frank Longbottom was coming onto his shift as the Auror on duty. Before he had even sat down to get to work, Peter approached him with a release order for one of the men being held. Frank glanced at the parchment, noticed the name at the top of the slip, and glanced at Peter in alarm.

"Just a misunderstanding, Longbottom. If you'll just sign this form here, he can be on his way."

Checking the absurd charges, Frank quickly signed and filed the document, ordering Peter to release Remus as soon as the process was completed.

"There's a release fee, Pettigrew. It's hefty…"

"Already taken care of," Peter assured him.

Upstairs, James handed over a sum of money to Alice Longbottom. They waited in tense silence until a owl arrived at her office, notifying her that the proper paperwork had been filed. She wrote out a receipt for the payment and sent it off with the owl.

Once the receipt was received downstairs, Peter grabbed one of the magic infused keys from the drawer and started back to the cells where Remus was being held.

* * *

Lily was held for a boring two hours.

She knew that James and Peter now had to orchestrate her own release. It could be as easy as James using his last name to get the process moving, or it might require another dip into his savings to avoid paperwork.

She was slumped over on the bench, considering a nap, when the door opened and she heard the telltale jingle of keys.

"Seems that you've been a bit naughty, Evans."

Lily cast a glance at James, who approached the bars with a broad grin. She smiled back, rolling her eyes at his blatant appreciation of anything that created mayhem, including the sight of her behind bars.

"What in Merlin's name did you do to get yourself chucked in here?"

"I was a distraction," she said simply.

"Frank said something about fucking up the paperwork. What else?"

"A few colorful tricks, a stiff breeze or two."

"You're being modest."

"I am, that. I'm also hungry and need to use the loo."

"You look ridiculously attractive behind bars, you know," he remarked as he located the proper key.

It took a moment for the magic to activate with the lock. There was a brief flash of white light and the cell opened.

"Buy me lunch and we can play naughty, politically disobedient fiance for the rest of the afternoon," she said, waggling her eyebrows ridiculously.

James tugged on the edge of the shirt she wore. He recognized it as his own and had to laugh as they headed back so he could drop off the key.

"You're on for lunch. Rain check for the other. Remus is still in the process of moving into our place."

"Rain check it is. How's he doing?"

"He's been better," James said slowly.

"Sirius is furious and I think it's putting him on edge."

"We can get takeaway and settle in for the oncoming meltdown."

They ordered enough food to feed their army and returned to Godric's Hollow, where Peter and Sirius were helping a skittish Remus move into the guest room.

Before they entered the home, James took the takeaway out of Lily's arms and set it aside. He kissed her forehead, then both her cheeks, ending with a sloppy kiss that made her laugh even as she leaned into him.

"What's this about?"

"I wanted to make sure you were alright. You created quite a stir, and they're not known for being the gentlest bunch when they take someone into custody."

"I was a mild annoyance. And they were harmless, like kittens."

"Kittens, eh?"

"Mewling little things."

Mild concern lingered in the way he looked at her.

She understood the feeling. She often felt the same way, to the point where she would throw her arms around him when he returned home, and pepper him with kisses until she was satisfied they were okay and danger wasn't knocking down the door.

No longer joking, Lily kissed him full on the mouth. She gripped the mess of hair at the back of his neck in the way they both liked, and drew back to kiss him, slowly, drawing it out until they were both breathless.

"It was fine."

"Promise?" he asked, sounding much more lighthearted.

"Promise."

* * *

**A/N End of part 1. We get to spend more time with Remus next chapter and see how he's holding up. **

**As always, thanks for reading!**


	14. Alone down there part 2

_"She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even, and perhaps most especially, when that person couldn't see it in themselves."_

* * *

Remus locked himself in the bathroom.

He was still wearing his nightshirt; an old, faded blue thing that gaped around his rickety shoulders. The jeans he had put on when he was released from the Ministry were similarly faded. For a few moments after locking the door, he stared in the mirror.

He saw the deep circles beneath his eyes from constant stress and lack of sleep. His entire face looked older than it should. It was fitting, matching the way he felt most of the time. And he was startled when he laughed at the pathetic sight he made.

After a few minutes, he took a seat across from the toilet. He felt strange, lightheaded. As if he was attempting to walk through a pile of mud. Remus sat down, stretched his legs out, and pinched the bridge of his nose, attempting to ground himself.

"Moony? You've been in there half the morning."

Sirius began knocking, softly and then louder when he received no reply.

"Maybe he has to take a-"

"Crass, Wormtail."

"That's rich coming from you!"

Remus faded in and out as they knocked. Eventually their argument and the rumbling noises stopped completely as he tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling.

When he came back to himself, it was perfectly quiet. The knocking and voices were gone. Instead, the door was partially cracked, revealing Lily who was seated in the hall with a container of takeout.

She caught his glance and the redhead smiled somewhat as she held up a glass of clear liquid.

"Want some water?"

Remus nodded, finding it took a lot out of him to do so.

"Yes. Please."

Lily nodded and brought her meal into the bathroom. She set it aside as she handed the glass over and settled in next to him. Remus took the glass gratefully, drained it as he gulped down the cool water.

"When did you open the door?"

Without any trace of mocking or judgement, Lily glanced over her shoulder as she refilled the glass with water from the tap, asking,

"You don't remember?"

"No."

Remus shook his head, trying to think back after Sirius and Peter began arguing, finding that it was a big blank.

"James and I arrived home and found them arguing. You told them not to worry, but once you stopped answering, we got worried and opened the door."

"I don't remember any of that," he admitted.

"You didn't seem like yourself. And then they started arguing about whether or not to summon a Healer, so I banished them downstairs. Seemed like it was making you feel worse."

"That was probably a good thing. Thank you."

They sat in silence for some time. Eventually Lily handed him a second fork, silently offered half her meal. Remus ate a few bites and then stopped because his hands were shaking again. He felt his eyes burn and dropped the fork to bury his face in his hands.

"Evans, how's he doing?"

"We heard voices. Is he talking again?"

The sound of footsteps on the stairs had Remus shooting a desperate look at Lily. His face was contorted, his body shuddering as he cried openly for the first time since his childhood.

"Don't let them. Please," he pleaded, the words breaking pitifully.

Lily squeezed his arm briefly before getting to her feet and lunging toward the door. She slammed it shut just as the Marauders reached the top of the stairs, causing cries of mock outrage.

"Remus is sick. He doesn't need you lot poking at him while his head's in the toilet."

"Aww, that's rotten."

"Does he need anything?"

"We should make tea."

"What good is it if he spits it back up?"

"Do you have any good ideas, then?"

A light scuffling broke out on the other side of the door as they shoved and prodded each other.

Remus heard their concern and felt like absolute shite. He knew they would do whatever they could to make him feel better if they knew how he was really feeling, but he couldn't face them just yet. Couldn't even properly put into words what he was feeling.

They were a force of emotions and noise, and he desperately needed calm. He drew his knees up and placed his forehead on one knee, closing his eyes as he battled with his impending breakdown.

"Go make tea," Lily ordered through the door.

"And if you wouldn't mind getting his room ready. He'll be needing rest after all of this."

"Right."

"We're on it."

"Feel better, Remus. And never fear - I'll keep Sirius away from your beloved chocolate stash."

"Oi!"

They left in a whirl of chatter that faded as they marched downstairs, each set on a separate task to aid their sick mate.

Lily joined him again, holding open her arms, should he need them. Shoving aside his already torn pride, which raged at him for being weak, he scooted over, gratefully accepting the physical contact. He rested his head against her shoulder and she tightened her hold around him, reassuring him.

When he had cried himself out, he moved back to how he was sitting before. He wiped at his eyes, shook his head and glanced down, embarrassed by the display.

"I can't...stay here."

"What are you talking about? Of course you can."

Remus glanced back at her, a certain sadness mingling with his smile.

"You know I appreciate what all of you did today. If it wasn't for you all, I'd still be in a cell. But I can't stay here. I have to register with the Ministry, now. I have to put an address down, and if I put yours they'll harass you, too."

"Hey."

When Remus didn't immediately meet her gaze, Lily poked him in the chest, a look of determination of her face.

"What we did today, we did because we love you. And unless you come up with a _real_ reason not to stay, I'm going to be pretty mad at you if you leave."

"Lily-"

"I'm not finished," she said calmly.

"Listen, the Minstry? Assholes, the lot of them. They're the ones who are wrong, not you. You're one of the best people I know, Remus. I don't want to see you needlessly suffering when we can help you.

And I know you like doing things on your own. I can understand that. So if you want, we can discuss paying rent, or whatever else, later. Just don't go rushing out there without a home because you feel guilty or undeserving."

"You're far too kind, you know that?"

"Hardly," Lily promised, mirroring Remus' smile.

"I promise we can talk about the details. Just for tonight, don't let them keep you from getting rest and being pampered."

"Pampered, eh? What on earth does that involve?"

"Knowing the lot you hang around with? Sky's the limit."

* * *

**A/N Hello, all!** **I love Remus to pieces for a lot of reasons, so these chapters were important for me to write.**

** A few things:**

**First, I'm reading and loving every review. Promise. I have a cold for the first time in awhile and it's making me tired and bad at catching up on replies. I will get to them and any PM's. Just give me time to not feel so bleh.**

**Finally, I had a conversation originally written that explained why Lily got herself tossed behind bars. I cut the conversation because I changed the direction of the chapter. But the short answer is that Sirius and Peter didn't want anyone paying attention to them while they got the ball rolling with Remus' release. It would look sketchy if they were caught spending their morning working on getting a personal friend released, so I had Lily step in and do her thing to avoid any immediate questions. Hope that provides a little more clarity. **

**Thanks for reading!**


	15. The mundane in a burning world

As the heat and dizzying sunlight of summer began to fade, Lily was called upon to perform a task for the Order. It was her first mission out of the lot of them, and they were all eager to hear what happened and what it was like working with the others. She promised to give plenty of details before leading James into the other room for a bit of privacy.

Instead of wasting the brief goodbye on words, James crooked a finger into the belt loop of her jeans, gently tugging her closer until their bodies brushed.

Lily's slow grin, coupled with fire in her gaze, heated his blood. She placed one hand on his chest, over the slow thrum of his heart, and leaned in as his hand slid up, stopping at several strategic locations along the way, before reaching its destination at the softness of her cheek.

The kiss was languid, defying the blend of nerves and impatience that simmered between them. And when they pulled apart, she removed the hand that was previously pressed against her skin so she could kiss the palm, which he felt all the way to his toes.

For a few moments more they were just a couple, and it wasn't a war breathing down their necks. They could pretend it was bills, or an assortment of other mundane worries that occupied their thoughts.

It was a cozy alternative.

"I'll run out to the shop so we can have ice cream when you get back."

"Perfect. Don't forget the chocolate sauce," she said, the beginnings of a wicked smile blooming when he opened his eyes, laughing.

And with that, she moved away, severing the connection. Straightening her back, Lily grabbed a handful of Floo powder, sent a quick smile at him over her shoulder, and stepped into the flames.

* * *

It was hours later and James was in bed, having taken a restless nap to pass the time.

"Prongs, you awake?"

James buried his head into the depths of his pillow and groaned, groggy with sleep. Undeterred, Sirius stretched out on the bed next to him, folding hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling.

"What is it, Sirius?"

"Well, to start, you're getting married soon."

"That's true."

James paused thoughtfully before asking, "Do you think it's too soon?"

Sirius snorted in the darkness.

"Inappropriate of you to ask, considering how my family ranks on interpersonal relationships and the like."

"I'm not asking _them_. I'm asking you."

There was a stretch of silence.

"I don't know what you and Evans are doing. If I understand doing it so soon, I mean. But I think it's right for you."

"Is that your verdict?"

"Yes, but I reserve the right to change my mind."

"Of course."

"Of course," Sirius echoed.

James punched down his pillow, settled back in bed with a restless feeling nagging him.

"James?"

"Yes..?"

"I think you would do well to include strict enforcement of the no-cat rule in your vows."

"You want me to talk about how much _you'd_ hate having a cat around _our_ house in my wedding vows? That's what you're saying?"

"Why not? Best to be upfront about these things."

James considered that, nodded.

"Fair point. I'll see if I can work it in."

"If you need help, all you have to do is ask. The others would be rubbish at it, but I'm certain my vow-writing skills would be unparalleled."

"Because you have so much experience writing out romantic declarations."

"Right."

Their laughter was loud in the otherwise silent house. They knew Remus was catching some rest as the full moon approached, and it was an effort to quiet down as they traded insults about the others romantic prowess, nearly shoved one another off the bed, and then settled back in.

It was Sirius who lapsed into silence. James stared at the ceiling for a few moments, glanced out the window, wondering what Lily might be up to out there.

"Sirius?"

"Hmm?"

"You'll be my best man?"

"That's a given."


	16. Nah, she didn't

Planning a wedding, at least to Remus, Peter, and Sirius seemed a lot like pulling off the prank of their lives. Instead of charmed clothing and exploding shower objects, this involved love, and a celebration of that love in a downright orderly fashion.

The Marauders were excellent at orderly. As long as it ended with things blowing up, or chaos of any kind. But wedding order? The lot of them were lost.

They lucked out of having to bumble through the details when Sirius awoke to a an early summons on a crisp October morning.

* * *

It read as follows:

_Sirius Lazy Sod Black_  
_Who Is Still In Bed_  
_Drafty Flat of Death And Despair_

_Wotcher Padfoot!_

_And a good morning to you. I've asked the bird to scratch and peck at your window until you agree to open up. A word of warning – she's also receiving a treat so long as she stays to bother you and make sure this summons is opened, read, and you don't go back to sleep. _

_Don't look at me that way. I speak only truth, mate o mine._

_Sorry about the biting. You know she gets overzealous. And she just loooves you, animalistic thing that you are. _

_Back to the matter at hand._

_Today's the day, pads. Grab your finest - a bottle of Ogden's wouldn't be amiss, as well. Calming the nerves and what have you. Evans and __I are getting hitched._

_It is your duty to rouse the others, be it by sweetness or force. Get them up and in the spirit for holy matrimony and revelry._

_Come round ours at 1. Ceremony is at 2. I'll forgive you for showing up without your Sunday finest as long as you remember the drink. _

_Cheers! _

_p. mind the toothpaste stain in the corner. I was in the process of dental upkeep while giving you my fondness._

_Your Honorable ever Majestic James Prongs Potter  
Future husband of Lily Evans (Potter)  
Place of residence  
Writing from the loo_

* * *

The decision to marry was made before the sun had mad an appearance in the sky. Lily was still dreaming. Her leg twitched every so often, her body jolting on occasion as she waded through the murky waters of her subconscious. James watched her for several minutes. His glasses were on, and he was leaning up on one elbow, amused at her twitchiness in sleep.

He liked the way her hair fanned out across the pillow, creeping gently onto his pillow so their sides were blended. Or the way one pajama leg was bunched, revealing her ankle, and the bits of skin where her razor missed and a few dark hairs grew.

He liked it all, waking up this way. What he didn't like, was wedding planning. They were both rubbish at it, not just him. Each time they made an effort to sit down and discuss a menu, or guest list, they found something infinitely better to do. More often than not, James would drop his head on the table - risking a concussion as Lily went to the freezer and grabbed a tub of ice cream and two spoons.

"What time is it?"

Since her face was pressed firmly into her pillow, the question came out as _"Hut imme zit?"_

"About five," James responded cheerfully.

"Stop staring. I want more sleep."

"I understand, really. But I think we should get married today, and I wanted to run that past you before I lose you to an eternity of more sleep."

Lily lifted her head slowly, worked at pulling down the bunched pajama leg with her eyes half closed.

"You have my attention."

"Brilliant. Look, since both of us parent-less-"

"We're such tragic dears," Lily mumbled with a sleepy smile.

"Yes! Right, endlessly tragic, that's us. Since we only have a few mates to come around, why not have it today? It's supposed to be pretty out. We can throw together some sort of to-do in the garden once the ceremony's over. What say you?"

Lily sat up fully. Her mouth tasted stale from sleep, and when she tried to run a hand through her hair in thought, it caught on a number of tangles. It was early, and she was predisposed to be cranky at such an hour.

And, yet.

And yet James was looking up at her like he was so beyond ready to just _do it_. To really start the adventure and see where it took them. Because wherever it went, it was them, and that meant that it would be okay.

"I think that's the best idea I've heard in awhile."

"No more seating charts."

Lily wrinkled her nose.

"None of those menu planning worksheets."

"Just us," James said quietly.

"Just you and I, and the nutters we call family."

"I can't think of anything better."

* * *

_To Marlene McKinnon_  
_My absolute favorite_

_Good morning, Mar. I'm afraid I have a bit of news. I only mention being afraid because there is a chance you'll be otherwise engaged and can't help me locate a wedding dress._

_I'm getting married today, Marlene. I can hardly believe it myself. But we've been awful at making plans, and we just want to do it. You know?_

_Please say you'll be able to make it.  
_

_I know this is mad, but I don't want to wait any longer. I'm ready to be a Potter – Merlin help me._

_Please let me know what your availability is._

_I love you to pieces,_

_Lily Evans (almost Potter)_

* * *

_The Mad Groomsmen_  
_Dallying about Godric's Hollow_  
_Planning his wedding at such an unreasonable hour_  
_The Great Git_

_Lads have been assembled. Alcohol procured. Never fear, stag bot. The devil's in the details, and we have them covered in spades._

_Expect Moony shortly to take in your tux. You've always looked like a ponce in dress robes, so let it happen, mate. Do yourself and your poor, unsuspecting bride a favor and wear the Muggle attire she's so fond of._

_Peter and I have our own business to attend to. Nothing sinister. You may thank us later._

_See you at yours._

_Padfoot_  
_the greatest mate that ever mate-d_

_p. if you ever sic that bloody owl on me again, I'll eat it. On my word as a gentleman_

_Stop laughing._

* * *

_Wonderbride, _

_I'll be by in an hour. I need time to wake up, put something on my face, and have a cup of teato sort myself out because YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED YOU GREAT GOOSE. _

_What is the world coming to? I love it. _

_And I love you. Of course I'll be there. _

_Best, _

_Mar_

* * *

The house was in chaos by noon. Remus had yet to return with the tux, Sirius and Peter were bringing in ominous shrunken bags from their trip to Hogsmeade, and James was left pacing with no groomsmen to keep him from his own stupid thoughts.

Lily was blissfully unaware of the goings-on outside her door. She had been sequestered in the master bedroom with Caroline, Mary, and Marlene fussing over the dress they had purchased earlier in the morning. It was a size too small for Lily, who needed more room in the breast area, and had too many nerves fluttering about to try her hand at altering it.

It was Mary who made the proper adjustments while Marlene breezed in and out to consort with the men and make sure nothing dodgy was happening.

Meanwhile, Lily and Caroline occupied themselves in the bathroom. For awhile, Caroline assisted Lily in piling her hair on top of her head while Lily went through her makeup routine. They kept up a stream of chatter that is until Caroline turned a peculiar shade of green and promptly flew across the bathroom so she could be sick in the toilet.

"Sweet Circe, Caroline. Are you alright? Do you need-"

"No," Caroline said miserably. She held one hand out, the universal symbol for _keep away or I might get sick all over your pretty hair and robe_.

"It will pass, eventually. Give me about an hour, I'll be right as rain."

Unconvinced, Lily ran a cloth under the tap and perched her friend on the sink to dab at her forehead and wipe the sick from around her mouth.

"Why didn't you tell me you were ill, you great cow," Lily chided gently.

"Seeing as this is all spur of the moment, we could have had the patience to wait another day at least-"

"It isn't the flu," Caroline said meekly.

She looked remarkably guilty before meeting Lily's eye and rushing out, "Lily, I'm pregnant. A few months, at least. And I was going to tell the lot of you, and now you're getting married and I can't very well..."

Caroline trailed off, a little concerned by the look on Lily's face. The redhead had gone entirely still, her mouth falling open somewhat as she stared at Caroline, who felt like she might need another run to the toilet.

"Lily, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to say anything, this being your-"

And then all at once Caroline was hauled off the counter and into a crushing hug from Lily.

Lily pulled back to give Caroline a sloppy, delighted kiss on the cheek.

"Can I tell the others? You aren't keeping it secret, are you?"

"No, not intentionally."

Caroline had hardly recovered from the swift, crushing show of emotion before the bathroom door was hauled open and Lily was shouting, "Someone get the champagne, will you? For fuck's sake, one of our own is preggers!"

And then madness descended as Mary burst in with champagne and no glasses, and Marlene was dashing upstairs with a look of utter confusion on her face.

"What the fuck's happening? Is Lily pregnant?"

"Not me," Lily laughed, slinging her arm around Caroline's still trim waist.

"This one here is having herself a Diggory."

"Shit!" Marlene looked between all three of them and then her laughter was echoing through the small loo.

"Shit! More champagne!"

* * *

Between the flurry of getting ready for the ceremony, celebrating Caroline's pregnancy by consuming alcohol, and wanting to be bloody married already, notes were exchanged.

* * *

_To James:_

_I know Sirius is most likely plying you with alcohol, and Remus and Peter are being wonderful and keeping you lot from going overboard –_

_I wanted to let you know that I love you. Stupidly, love you. To the moon and back kind of love._

_I love you when you smell like a locker room, or late at night when you're snoring so I poke you to roll over._

_I wouldn't trade you for anyone._

_Forever. Okay?_

* * *

_Lily Evans Soon-to-be-Potter,_

_Okay. Times a billion. A thousand centaurs couldn't pull me away from this Forever. Unless they tore me to pieces, which is another problem entirely.  
_

_I'm yours from here on. No questions asked. You never smell like a locker room, love. But if you did, I'd say it was the finest smell in the world._

_Don't go changing your mind on me. We've come this far and you haven't given up on me, yet. I'm proud of you._

* * *

_James Potter Soon-to-be-Husband,_

_Shh, now. No talk of giving up. There will never be anyone else, and that's how I like it. _

_You're my absolute favorite. Meet you outside, handsome._

_All my love and then some, _

_Lily soon-to-be Potter_

* * *

A light, sun-kissed breeze accompanied Lily down the makeshift aisle in the afternoon.

The garden had been transformed earlier. There were flower arrangements, crisp but cheerful fall colors, that bloomed in a sprawling manner around the magically enhanced white linen that created an aisle for her to walk on. As soon as she stepped foot on it, the flowers sighed gently, unfurling so they shone gloriously in the afternoon light.

At the end, James was waiting for her. He was beaming, eyes misty behind his glasses as he held a hand out for her. Their fingers curled together, she glanced at Sirius, whose hair was tied back for the occasion, and Marlene who was brimming with pride for her friend.

The ceremony felt as if it flew by. They exchanged vows, promising to love, protect, and honor. Magic, beautiful blues and greens swirled around their hands as the rings were given, sealed by love and ancient magics as they exchanged their first kiss as husband and wife, to the cheer of their crowd of friends.

* * *

"Mrs. Potter, may I have this dance?"

Lily set aside her flute of champagne, kissed her husband on the cheek, and accepted the hand of Sirius Black. The stars were out, glimmering above them as they ate, drank, and danced in the garden at Godric's Hollow. Remus had enchanted the record player earlier to keep itself running without their interference, and now a sweeping, languid song played as Sirius positioned one arm around her waist and took her hand in his.

"I have something I need to say."

Deliriously happy, Lily maintained a sober expression, mostly due to how unnaturally somber he appeared. He lead them around the floor with the absent grace that was second nature to a Pureblood. His moves were fluid and sure, even after so many opened bottles of champagne had begged for his attention.

"I'm listening."

"You see, the problem is that James is my family. Well, all of them are. It's the four of us, since my family's rotten and everyone else's seems to be dying out. And you've been rather good about the whole thing. You don't have to be, you know. James is so smitten that he'd tell us to get lost for awhile if you wanted him to."

"I don't know about that," Lily said, smiling just a little.

"He would. It's a sad fact of life. Mate fancies himself desperately in love with a woman, and the rest of us are in jeopardy of getting tossed over. And I wouldn't even be allowed to get mad because it's the nature of these things. Even I know that."

The song ended and another slower one began. It was a popular jazz number with smoky voices and aching horns. Sirius appeared pained, almost kicking himself for bumbling through this.

"I'm listening," Lily reminded him gently.

"Go on."

"I'm glad it was you," he rushed out. Having said it, he looked much calmer, back to his normal, not-bumbling self. Sirius had very little trouble expressing his emotions, often at a high volume, since he had gotten out from under his family's dysfunction and learned what it meant to have a real family. The kind that expressed positive and negative emotions, and loved fiercely.

But sometimes, on rare occasions such as this, he still found that it was difficult to articulate that emotional Something. Until it came flying out of his mouth, loudly making its presence known.

And it was such a relief to see the look of half-understanding, the smile as Lily squeezed his shoulder, that he began to laugh, back to his usual self.

"Mind if we give them a bit of a show?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Something grand involving a dip and the high drama of a kiss on the eve of your wedding."

"I think I can abide that," Lily said with a laugh of her own.

And then she was spinning out from his arms. Her dress, rescued from a tiny charity shop and altered to fit, flared out around her knees. The fabric shimmered in the light, and their friends collectively held their breaths at the sight of her beaming, radiant and smiling only for James Potter.

And then she was pulled back into Sirius' arms, felt the rumble of his laugh as he dipped her impossibly low, and planted a noisy, wet kiss on her lips.

* * *

"Which one of us leads?"

Remus looked between himself and Sirius, thoroughly perplexed by the mechanics of the whole thing. If they had been back in their dorm, or in the Potter house making fools of themselves, he wouldn't have worried. But it was a wedding reception. A rather nice one considering the limited time they had to procure drinks, flowers, and food.

And now the dance.

Sirius solved the problem by placing Remus' hand on his shoulder while he placed the other at his waist.

"You're leading, are you?"

"And why shouldn't I? I won't waltz us into any tress, or crush woodland creatures with my giant Moony feet. Thanks to my rubbish upbringing, I'd wager I'm the safest bet here."

"Somehow I'm still not quite comforted," Remus said around a smile.

"I'll prove it to you then. Just relax and follow my impeccable lightness of foot."

Remus does as ordered, watching the other pairs dance by. Marlene is holding her own at leading Mary around the dance floor, though she's cradling a bottle of champagne and sing warbled words that make no sense in an attempt to woo Mary, who is laughing and mostly stealing the champagne. Eventually Mary gets another bottle for Marlene to sway with, and finds Peter, asking him for a dance.

Caroline and Amos Diggory look properly in love, dancing slowly, very slow given the tempo of the music. They aren't speaking, and their eyes are closed as they sway, holding each other like they might drift apart if the let go.

And then in the center of the dance floor, are James and Lily. They're both smiling a rather daft smile, beaming up at one another and laughing even though they haven't spoken. Every time they try to compose themselves, the other one loses it, but it's okay because eventually they get it together to kiss and whisper quiet, privately loving things to one another as they dance.

"Remus?"

"Mmmm."

"Have you thought about the fact that you'll be living with old married's if you continue to shack up with the Potter's?"

"I have. I've owled a few places. There's no way I'll stay when they're is so much shagging to be had."

"Precisely, precisely," Sirius murmurs.

"Excellent point! To avoid the ruins of certain poverty, why don't you ditch the lovebirds and come stay with me? They'll be heartbroken, no doubt, but they'll get over it once the shagging on random bits of furniture starts up."

Contrary to Sirius' question, which deserves a thought out answer, Remus' mind chooses that particular moment to wonder what they look like dancing. There's Marlene who's dancing with herself, Mary and Peter who are laughing through the steps, and the other two sets of love birds, each wrapped up in one another.

What, then, must they look like? With Sirius, who is too handsome, with too-long hair and a face that is ridiculous in its attractive angles. And Remus who has that scar that's still healing on his cheek, and can never quite get his hair to do anything other lay about in protest.

And suddenly the most important detail, the one Sirius has deemed superfluous comes to the surface.

"There's only one bedroom," Remus remarked, feeling a small flutter somewhere near the region of his stomach.

Sirius didn't say anything right away. He continued leading them around the floor, his hand warm against Remus' waist. When he looked at Remus, really looked at him without all the hints of joking and elbow nudging that make up a good portion of his character, he appeared completely unruffled.

"Right. Is that a problem?"

Despite the fact that they must look completely unmatched when they dance, and Remus' hands are sweating in a way that is the opposite of cool, and he has little idea what he's doing, he said simply,

"No. Not at all."

* * *

**Hello all! Gosh, I loved writing this. Mostly the letters. If this chapter could have been entirely letters, it would have! If you're interested, I put together a mini photo thing for the wedding on my tumblr account. I'm under the same name on there, so it's easy to look me up.**

**Cheers!**


	17. Honeymoon

"Mrs. Potter."

She tried again, softer this time.

"Lily Potter."

Naked beneath the sheet, arms folded on top, Lily looked out the window where the sun was peeking up from behind the cover of clouds. Still, she couldn't sleep.

They had spent most of the night awake, alternating between making love until they could scarcely move, and talking; trading memories, and the kind of stories that husbands and wives should know about one another.

Husband.

Lily glanced at the lump sprawled beside her. She could hear his breathing, rumbling and steady with sleep. One arm was thrown above his head, nearly shielding his eyes. The other was loosely gripping the sheet that was pulled up just past his waist. She watched the rise and fall of his chest, saw him fidget gently with whatever dream he was having.

Lily pulled the sheet tight around her body and sat up, scooting until her back met the headboard. She continued watching him, smiling slightly at the man who occupied the other half of the bed, vaguely comparing him to the boy she'd known for so many years. His hair was still absurd, mostly, she admitted, from the way she liked to run her hands through and pull it when they were in the middle of things.

It wasn't long ago at all that they were like dynamite and a lit fuse around one another. Not all the time, and not always in the open. But Hogwarts, the memories and old squabbles weren't difficult to recall.

_Man and boy, boy and man_, Lily thought, smiling, shaking her head at the man who was now her husband.

"Yer notsleepin."

Lily crawled over to where James had peeked one eye open so he could look up at her with a drowsy frown.

"How could you tell?"

"My body knows when you're watching it. Tingles."

"I think you're still half asleep. What do you think about that?"

"Rubbish."

Lily lifted the arm that was draped over his face, placing it around her waist as she snuggled in next to him.

"Go back to sleep, you."

James tightened his hold around her waist, mumbled something sleepy and meaningless into her hair, and accompanied her into a deep, sound sleep.

* * *

James wasn't sure how to explain it to anyone, should they ask, but he would never be able to put the shocking thrill that came with waking up next to Lily Potter into words. Always, but especially naked.

Today, she was spectacularly naked. Her hair was a dazzling mess around her shoulders, obstructing part of her cheek as he looked at her. He remembered several choice moments during the night that occurred after they went through the process of discarding her wedding dress and attachments, careful not to rip anything in their haste. He remembered running his hands through the red locks, gripping them in his closed fist as her body came together with his in a way that would never cease to leave him breathless.

Now she was cuddled into her pillow, having pulled the duvet over her more tantalizing bits in the night. She slept solidly, never a morning person, least of all after they night they had. It wasn't until breakfast arrived, bringing with it the mouth-watering smells of fried, crispy things that she began to stir.

"Unfair," she said groggily.

"My stomach was rumbling. I thought after our marathon, we could do with a sturdy meal."

"And sleep," Lily murmured into the pillow.

"Dash breakfast. Get me up for lunch."

James did the next best thing and brought breakfast to bed. He heaped his plate full of potatoes and sausage, adding bits of the pudding he knew Lily couldn't resist. He ate casually, biting back a grin when she lifted her tangled head to glance longingly at the meal.

"So unfair. Playing dirty," she whimpered, sniffing his potatoes in a way that had him unable to smother his laughter.

"Evans,"

"Call me Potter, if you please," she asked mildly.

James felt a pleasant jolt in his chest region, and complied.

"Potter, last night you performed acrobatic miracles. Spectacular, anatomically impossible feats that I will require you to perform each night from here on in. If we want to keep up our run, you'll need to eat. Or you'll lose your strength entirely and wither away."

"You want me to eat so we can keep up our fantastic sex life, is that it?"

Instead of replying directly, James swiped his fork through the pile of potatoes and held it in front of her closed mouth.

"Open up."

Lily complied before falling back against her pillow and sighing.

"This is a breakfast of miracles. Forget shagging, I want this breakfast each morning for the rest of my life."

"Blasphemy!"

Catching sight of his expression, Lily made a grab for the plate. James moved it artfully out of reach, groaning aloud when the blankets fell away from her chest, providing him with the sight of his half-naked wife on a nearly empty stomach. Put out, Lily bundled the sheet around her chest and suggested,

"I propose a deal."

"What are the terms?"

"We eat breakfast in bed, positively inhale it. And then have another round of our enthusiastic athleticism."

James pretended to consider the offer, already handing over the plate and rummaging for another fork.

"Deal."

* * *

They packed slowly.

It had been a week away. Exactly one week without reading the newspaper, reporting to Order headquarters, or worrying about whose funeral they would be attending next.

It was a week with sunshine, laughter, and sex. They spoke for hours, sometimes rambling over one another, and then stopping to kiss until they were too dizzy to do anything more than return to bed for the afternoon.

At night they walked hand in hand, exploring shops and picking up odds and ends for the house, and presents for friends. They ate at lavish restaurants, other times they found hole-in-the-wall diners and ate ravenously to make up for the time spent in bed.

It was only a week, but it could have been a lifetime. And then they were returning to real life.

"Ready, then?"

Lily glanced fondly at the bed, the other surfaces where they had enthusiastically celebrated their marriage. The little room was rather plain, but she'd miss it. The simplicity of spending their days doing nothing but being wrapped up in one another.

He held his hand out, having shrunken the suitcases and placed them in his pockets.

With a soft exhale, too soft to be considered a sigh, she took his hand, nodded resolutely.

"Ready."

* * *

**A/N I always do this, so I'm going to do it to keep up with tradition: **

**Are we okay with the current rating? If I upped it to a M, that would account for language, potential violence/situations, and lemons.**

**Also! Another note - ppl are reviewing and messaging about whether or not there will be Blackinnon or Wolfstar. At this point, other couples aren't going to be a feature of the story. So if you're freaked out in favor/against either of those ships, don't worry because they aren't going to be a plotpoint. You can probably infer which one of the two I lean toward, and I'm going to ask you to please respect that. **

**We're sticking firmly with James and Lily, especially now that the war's going to pick up. Okay?  
**

**Okay! Thanks for reading! **


	18. People helping people

**A/N Hello again! Thanks so much for all the follows and reviews. Reviews really do make me smile and all sorts of happy.**

**Just posting a quick trigger warning here for mentions of blood of the wound variety. Nothing too graphic, but I'm mentioning it in case anyone wants to avoid it. (And if you ever need anything specific tagged as things get darker/focus more on the war, just let me know. It's no problem)**

**Thanks so much for reading!**

* * *

Marlene wasn't going to get a decent night's sleep on Black's lumpy, ridiculous sofa. It was a tattered old thing and should have been condemned and tossed aside ages ago. And yet there she was. She kicked off her trainers, collapsing on the groaning piece of furniture as she tugged an equally tattered blanket over her body.

She had a perfectly good flat of her own, a bit on the posh side, decorated with comfortable furnishings that did not smell of wet dog. Marlene sniffed around and wrinkled her nose in distaste. They didn't even have a dog.

Still, she settled in, allowing the sagging cushions to enfold her. She even closed her eyes with the intention to get some rest, finally, after what felt like a lifetime without it.

In reality it had only been two weeks. Two miserable weeks with only one lousy letter to give her piece of mind. She knew Sirius was in the same boat, waiting for any word from the pair of idiots traipsing through hostile territory. It wouldn't have been so maddening if they at least _knew_ how they were fairing. But it had been six days since the last letter, and Marlene could scarcely contain the overwhelming fear and hope each time an owl dropped by.

"Will you stop the bloody tossing and turning!" Sirius barked from where he was doing his own tossing and turning in bed.

Marlene glared in the direction of the bedroom with a mutinous expression.

"Not my fault your sofa is a lousy piece of shite."

"Yes, well," he returned mockingly, "Not all of us have access to the McKinnon vault, do we?"

"You're one to talk! That uncle of yours left you a tidy sum. No reason to have this smelly thing when you've got gold to burn through."

She heard a delicate sniff, the one sound filled with so much indignation that she smiled in the darkness.

"I happen to like my smelly sofa so sod off."

They lapsed into silence for a bit. She could hear the bed creak as Sirius turned over, shoved his pillow in hopes of making it more comfortable, and flung himself on his back, staring at the ceiling in much the same way she was.

"We're being ridiculous, you know," she said after awhile.

Hardly a pause and he replied,

"I am aware of that."

"I'm sorry I barged in earlier. I suppose I'm not having much success playing the waiting game."

"That makes two of us."

"It's just...Gid's a good mate, you know? He's one of the good ones. I know it must be harder for you..."

She wasn't sure he was going to answer. They had their own odd friendship of sorts, forged out of recklessness and their mutual love of the absurd. But getting into feelings territory, about emotions and the like, was new, and altogether foreign.

After a few beats, she heard his faint reply.

"They'll come back just fine, McKinnon. Now stop bothering me. You need your beauty sleep."

Marlene found some comfort in the fact that Sirius was having as difficult a time as she was. Somewhere between staring at the ceiling and teasing him about his smelly sofa, she fell asleep. It was a fast, deep slumber, interrupted by a frightening crash and the sound of raised, panicked voices.

"Prewett! Fucking hell, he's..."

"Get him on the bed."

"Easy does it, Gid. No, lie back now."

Marlene shot up, recognizing Remus' voice. Her legs tangled hopelessly in the blanket as she skidded to her feet, barreling down the short hall and nearly running into Lily and Sirius in the process.

"Mar..." she heard her name, spoken through a rattling gasp, and slammed to a halt in the bedroom doorway.

"Gideon, what..."

Gideon Prewett grinned weakly at her from the bed, trying for a comforting smile as he bled through his shirt and stained the sheets. Marlene rushed past Lily, nearly knocking into Sirius and Remus as she came to kneel at the bedside. She fumbled for his hand, found that it was slick with his own blood, and gripped it tightly in hers, smearing the liquid between them.

"What happened to you?"

"Unexpected complication," Remus answered from where he stood with Sirius, looking shaken and sickly pale as he leaned on the other man for support.

Marlene felt a stab of fear bubble up in the pit of her stomach as her gaze swung back to Gideon who had screwed his eyes shut as Lily administered a tonic.

"Just a...flesh wound," he said, fixing his gaze on her. Trying for another smile that wobbled a bit around the edges.

"If you start making jokes I'll murder you myself," she vowed.

"Threatening violence while I'm...already in shambles. Tsk tsk, love."

* * *

Sleep didn't come easy that night.

Marlene fell asleep at some point. Only after obsessively checking to make sure Gideon was well enough for her to close her eyes. She would place her hand over his mouth, hovering there, feeling foolish and still slightly sick as she waited for his exhale to confirm that he was still alive under the bundle of blankets. Only then, after checking compulsively, easing her fears, did she pull a chair up next to his bed and fall into an uneasy rest. Sometime between her falling asleep and the morning she wound up in bed next to him, his arm around her middle, providing silent reassurance as they slept.

Displaced, Sirius and Remus set up camp in the living room. Remus fell asleep straight away, his soft snores filling the room as Sirius kept the fireplace roaring. Attempting to ease a chill that had very little to do with the temperature and kept him awake most of the night.

James was still awake when Lily returned home. He was at the kitchen table, pretending to flip through a Quidditch mag when the Floo roared to life and she stepped through, the front of her top smeared with blood. The sight of it made everything grind to a halt in his brain. He could hardly breathe, let alone move, except to burst out of his chair so he could cross to her, taking in her drawn expression.

"Remus?"

"No," she said softly.

"No. It...Gideon was injured, badly. Remus is fine. So are the others, no one else was hurt but it was close."

Somewhat relieved on both counts, James rubbed a hand over her arm, hoping the soft contact would take away some of the lingering horror in her expression.

"Why don't you get cleaned up? I can pour us both a drink."

"That'll be good. I'll be down in a minute."

James waited, glancing at the stairs every so often as five minutes turned into ten, ten into twenty. Eventually he abandoned the drinks and made his way up to the bathroom. He heard the water running and realized as he drew closer that the door wasn't shut all the way. It was only partially closed, revealing Lily, naked from the waist up, sitting on the edge of the bath with her head in her hands.

He knocked softly, not wanting to startle her. She glanced up, water steaming at her back, her face red from crying, and held open her arms to him. It was the simple, plaintive gesture of someone who needed comfort like they needed their next breath.

James went to her immediately, kneeling so they could gather one another in their arms. His hand ghosted over her back, tracing a light, soothing pattern against her bare skin as they held on a bit desperately.

"I was so relieved," she said finally.

James could barely hear her over the running water, but her anguish echoed in the small space.

"I was so relieved," she repeated, "That it wasn't you," she pulled back so she could look him in they eye as she made her confession. "That you weren't the one to go on the mission. How do I justify that when Gideon was half dead? He's never been anything but kind, and I was so _relieved_, James."

"It wasn't me," James said firmly. He planted his hands on her denim clad thighs, squeezed lightly until her gaze refocused.

"And he's okay. You helped make him okay, Lily. That counts for something."

She wondered if it did. It was nice to think so, but she wasn't sure.

Exhausted, closing her eyes against the sight of the blood on the shirt pooled at her feet, Lily nodded, lowering her head so it rested on his shoulder. She said nothing else, simply nodded and held him more tightly against her.

* * *

"What the hell happened?"

The Marauders were gathered in a dubious establishment around the corner from Sirius' flat. The tables and floor were sticky, the food was tolerable, and the coffee had the consistency of re-heated sludge. But it was close, and it didn't require Sirius to scrape the moldy bits from the bread loaf sitting on his counter, so it was the best they had.

When James spoke Remus glanced up from poking at his eggs. Without realizing it, one hand went to his neck, rubbing the new scrapes and bruises there. Sirius had healed the worst of them the night before, but several red, angry marks were still visible at the collar of his shirt. He gave his egg one last poke, each of them watching the way it jiggled in a greasy puddle on the plate, before all eyes went to Remus.

"It was supposed to be simple," he lowered his voice.

"Surveillance on a speculated hotspot. We picked up on a few things, but last night when we made camp, they were waiting for us."

"Who?" Peter asked, having grown increasingly pale as Remus spoke.

"We couldn't id anyone, but it looked like somewhere near fifteen death eaters. Dorcas spotted them first, thankfully, otherwise..." he shrugged and trailed off.

The table lapsed into contemplative silence. Sirius dragged a hand through his hair, appearing restless and somewhat furious, although he didn't have anyone to direct his fury at. Anticipating his mood, Remus continued quietly,

"We all knew what we were getting into, Sirius. And we picked up a few leads, even if it ended badly."

"Right," James said, attempting to lift the spirits a bit.

"I know you think you're invincible, Moony. But see that you don't make a habit of pulling off heroic feats every time Moody sends you out."

"We have delicate nerves, you see," Peter added with a small grin of his own.

"Can't take the suspense," Sirius chimed in, his smile still strained at the edges.

"I promise to let everyone else have their glory. Next time anything goes awry, I'll cower under my blanket and hope for the best."

"There's a lad!"

"All we ask, really."

"Now that we have that sorted," Sirius remarked cheerfully.

"Pass me the sugar. The coffee tastes like piss."

* * *

**A/N If you're interested in seeing a deleted Remus/Sirius scene, check out Quite A Pair. It's a little fluffy drabble that I just put up because the scene wouldn't leave me alone. **


	19. Rule breakers

**A/N** **This chapter could have gone in a few directions, but I really wanted to provide a small glimpse into Moody's backstory. So here we go! Some humor, and some...well, not.**

* * *

"What's going on with you and Gideon?"

Marlene, who was slumped drowsily on the offensively lumpy couch in the living room of Order headquarters, pulled a face as she sat up.

"What do you mean by 'going on'?"

Lily rolled her eyes, drawing her knees up so she could rest her chin on them. She located a crumpled chocolate wrapper and tossed it at Marlene's head.

"Oh, _come on_, Mar."

"Nothing's _going on_."

"Ahh, okay."

Marlene scowled in Lily's direction, returning fire with a balled up page from The Prophet. Lily ducked, avoiding impact, and grinned as a flush rose on Marlene's cheeks.

"He's old, Lily."

"He's what, twenty six? And what does that have to do with anything?"

Marlene scrubbed a hand over her face as her cheeks continued to betray her with a stinging blush.

"I don't know. It's not like we've shagged."

Lily picked at the ragged bit of carpet beneath where she was sitting.

"Do you want to be?"

Marlene flopped back on the couch with a small sound that resembled a sigh.

"I'm going to sleep."

"You do! You want to shag Gid-"

Before Lily could continue cackling in triumph, Marlene flung herself off the couch. She tackled Lily to the ground, grappling to place a hand over her mouth as the redhead laughed and shoved her away.

"'S okay. I won't tell."

"On pain of death?"

Lily crossed her heart solemnly.

"On pain of death."

* * *

To everyone's surprise, it was Gideon and Marlene who were initially responsible for the ban on PDA in Order headquarters.

It was right before a meeting, when members were milling about with tea, hesitant to gather around the battered table and get down to things. Marlene had gone on a mission the previous night and Moody was looking for her among the others, still needing to debrief before the meeting began.

Lily was standing with Dorcas, listening to the other witch explain a new piece of werewolf legislation that was expected to pass. She saw the moment Moody shook off Sirius, who was in the process of fabricating a far-fetched and woe-begone tale about why he needed patrol off that night, and headed straight toward her.

In her panic, Lily set aside her tea cup and attempted to use Dorcas as a human shield.

"Lily..?"

"I promise I'll explain later, I just need you to-"

"Potter!" Moody barked.

Lily cringed and stepped back out from behind Dorcas, who was smiling in a faintly amused, if confused, way.

"Sir?"

"Have you seen McKinnon? She was around earlier, and since the pair of you are attached at the hip..."

"No," Lily shook her head emphatically.

"In fact, I think she might have stepped out for a smoke."

"I saw her head off toward the back of the house not long ago," Benjy Fenwick volunteered, missing the look of desperation Lily shot him.

Moody started off, and Lily was forced to follow while doing her best to keep him from going where she knew he was already headed.

"Sir, I'm fairly certain she isn't back here. She borrowed my lighter, actually, so I know she must be-"

In an attempt to re-gain Moody's attention, Sirius had followed them. Sensing Lily's mounting panic, Fabian, Dorcas, and a few of the others tagged along. They didn't have the slightest clue what was about to happen, but judging by the red head's flustered behavior, it was going to be good.

"McKinnon?"

Moody gave a sharp rap to the first bedroom door and flung it open without another word revealing Marlene and Gideon very nearly shagging against the wall. Lily immediately buried her face in her hands, wishing a giant hole would open up and swallow them all.

It was Sirius who laughed first. It slipped out, and he did his best to control his obvious mirth when Remus gave him a pointed nudge in the ribs, but then he caught sight of Caradoc Dearborn with his eyes popping out, and it was so comical that he lost it again. Meanwhile, Moody turned a deep shade of red, spun on his heel and took off in the general direction of the kitchen at such a swift speed that it was like he'd never been there at all.

"Tossers!" Gideon located his shoe and threw it at the crowd standing in the hall, nearly braining Sirius who was his main target.

Dorcas began herding everyone away while Lily sent Marlene a pleading look.

"I tried to tell him you were out."

Gideon winced, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as Marlene zipped her trousers.

"I don't suppose everyone could just forget about it within the next ten minutes," he said with a weak smile.

"Not bloody likely."

* * *

It became a game after that.

Moody was so horrified by the incident with Gideon and Marlene, he was flushed throughout the meeting, even ending it early and marching out just to get away from the giggling bunch, who couldn't seem to get over the humor of the situation.

From then on, many of the couples made it a game to see who could snog in the most outlandish place and escape getting caught by a few moments. They snogged in the loo, on the kitchen table, against the walls. Before meetings, after meetings, around patrol times. It became more than a game, mostly a distraction from the constant barrage of bad news.

They were always hearing about another death, another loss, another something that would drag at their conscious or keep them awake and staring at their ceilings. They needed to place bets and tease one another, to feel like they were still as young as they were even as the war stripped them of any connection to who they were before things began crumbling around them.

And then one day, the game stopped.

They were all seated around the table, chatting and eating a thrown together meal as they waited for Moody to arrive. It was nearly ten minutes after the normal start time when he entered looking ashen and exhausted. Without looking at any of them, he swept the hat off his head and addressed the room at large,

"Minerva, a word?"

Professor McGonagall rose from her seat and followed him into the other room. The room lapsed into silence. They waited another few minutes until McGonagall returned without Moody. She was a great deal paler than when she had left as she surveyed the room in silence for several long moments.

"Today's meeting is cancelled. I'm afraid Alastor has received unpleasant news, and needs to attend to several personal matters with haste. You'll receive an owl regarding the next meeting."

James held out his hand and Lily took it as they silently made their way out of the house with the others.

* * *

The next morning Lily donned her now customary black funeral dress, hardly even looking in the mirror as she got ready.

Everything was routine: _Wash up, dress, makeup, hair._ All of it had been done too many times before. She helped James with his tie, more because she liked doing it than him needing help. Several minutes before they were expected to Floo out and meet the others, James abandoned his tea and swept her into a crushing hug that she returned with the same urgency.

They said nothing, understanding heavy between them.

When they arrived with the others at the small Scottish cemetery, Moody was standing alone, looking older and more tired than he had a right to as their appointed keeper. He was a fixed point, always gruff but calm in the face of sheer chaos. They thought he was untouchable. Certainly someone to be reckoned with, not one to cross. And now what?

His tall frame was slouched as he stared at the row of caskets containing the bodies of the last of his relatives, all gone after a Death Eater attack that had been targeting him. He was pale, his lips fiercely drawn together as if they were in danger of betraying him if they went lax.

As they drew closer to the scene, Lily caught sight of the last coffin and felt her chest tighten. It was small, the size indicating that it was meant for a child; ornately decorated with carved flowers that swayed lightly against the wood with some unknown magic. Lily's grip on James' hand tightened and he nodded, his look reflecting the same contained horror that she felt.

Moody glanced up as they all approached. He looked all of them in the eye. From Sirius, who was known for giving him a hard time and had dressed impeccably and even tied back his hair, to Professor McGonagall who smiled kindly and took her place by Moody's side. His throat worked as if he might say something.

In the end, he accepted their condolences, uttered by Remus on behalf of all of them, with a brisk nod and went back to staring at the row of coffins as the Order members fanned out in a wall of solidarity behind him.


End file.
